Keep your bathroom clean!

I couldn't think what to blog on when I sat down to write this morning, so I cleaned the bathroom instead. And in doing so, I found the perfect topic to cover. Because to me, cleaning the bathroom and the Christian walk have a lot in common.

I don’t know about you, but I put off cleaning the bathroom. I tell myself I’ll ‘do it tomorrow’; that old chestnut. The more gunk that builds up, the less I want to clean it and the more unpleasant each shower or toilet visit becomes.

A similar thing can happen in our lives. Often when we let sin and worry take over, we inadvertently shut God out of our lives. If we don’t deal with it quickly, the effects can build up and make us feel as though He is far away. This becomes a cycle, because we now feel it will be more difficult to put things right.

So here are a few pointers to encourage and motivate you, both to keep your bathroom clean and to examine any unwanted ‘build-up’ in your heart.

1)    The process is often messy, but the results are satisfying. I can’t pretend I enjoy pulling clumps of hair out of the plug hole or scrubbing the toilet bowl, but when you’re done and you survey your handiwork, there’s a real sense of achievement. Likewise, facing up to the things in your life that you’d rather not have to deal with can be unpleasant, and even painful. But when you allow God to cleanse you of anger, unforgiveness or whatever else is clogging up your heart, the relief is palpable.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

2)    The more frequently you do it, the easier it becomes. If you don’t clean your bathroom for six months, you’re in for some serious grossness! Dirt and dust soon pile up and you’ll scrub for hours just to see what colour your bathroom suite once was if you don’t clean it regularly. Likewise, failure to deal with our issues promptly tends to lead us into further difficulties and away from the help God is offering us. Deal with sin straight away and keep a short account with God – He will wipe the slate clean every day if you ask him to. And please clean your bathroom more than biannually!

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

3)    The cleaner it is, the more it will bless others. Have you ever been to someone’s house and found their bathroom to be dirty, lacking in soap and abundant in odours? Public toilets, of course, are the worst offenders. Cleaning your bathroom may seem like a thankless task (your family will never notice), but guests you invite round will notice you’ve made an effort. In the same way, staying close to God will bless the people around you because you are able to demonstrate His love without any obstacles getting in the way. The Bible says that when we walk in the Spirit, we bear fruit. Fruit isn’t meant to be eaten by us (have you ever seen a tree eat its fruit?); it’s there to be enjoyed by others.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (John 15:4).

4)    Deep cleaning reveals dirt we’re not even aware of. We can all see the obvious dirt that collects in a bathroom, but you might not immediately see the mould in the corner behind the bin or the dirt that collects between the toilet seat and seat cover (isn’t that the most irritating thing to clean?!). Similarly, when we start to put things right with God, He reveals things that are harbouring in the recesses of our hearts; things we thought we had dealt with or didn’t realise were there in the first place. Be encouraged that the Holy Spirit can reach even the most difficult nooks and crannies of our hearts, leaving us spotlessly clean and ready to bask in God’s presence.

“Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” (Hebrews 10:22-23).

5)    The right resources can make all the difference. Cleaning your bathroom with a dirty, moth-eaten sponge is going to lengthen the process at best, and lead to a botch job at worst. Investing in a few bits and bobs, for example a mildew-removing spray and a decent mop, can make light work of it. As Christians, there are thousands of resources out there. The first of course is the Bible, so if you don’t have one, get one – and read it every day. It’s also worth getting hold of some decent books/DVDs/podcasts to inspire, challenge and encourage you in your Christian walk. If you don’t know where to start, ask someone you trust to recommend a few.

Finally, remember how beautiful it feels to have a shower in a freshly cleaned bathroom? That’s how we can feel spiritually every day when we walk closely with God. Jesus has already paid for our sins and our sickness, so we are free to live a free and fulfilled life each and every day. Don’t put it off!

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). 

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

Fantasy versus reality

Working from home certainly has its perks. One of the greatest, in my opinion, is the option to watch cheesy Christmas films as I tap away on my laptop. Needless to say, Christmas 24 has been on every day for the last month or so in the Tibbs household; I just can’t get enough of it.

Having watched most of the films now (some of them twice), I’m beginning to notice a certain pattern. At the start, a child is let down by his or her parents and/or Santa and grows up to be a grumpy, workaholic scrooge. He or she has no time for love or adventure and very often neglects his/her own kids as a result.

But just when you’re starting to give up all hope, some magical intervention occurs, Santa is proven to be real (as if we ever doubted it) and, more often than not, a happy-ever-after love story ensues.

I’m not knocking this formula; it works a treat. In fact, I can almost predict to the minute when I will be reduced to tears, the moments where I will have to watch through my fingers because the cringe factor is so high, and the moment when I will need to clear my throat for the final carol-singing scene.

But in many ways, this repeated narrative reflects real life. Many children are scarred by the actions of a parent or someone in authority who has hurt them or let them down. They carry this pain through their lives and into new relationships, eventually passing it onto their children.

Others embrace the idea of God during childhood, seeing Him as a magical, Santa-like being who gives us all the things we want and meets all of our needs. But by the time we reach double figures we have rejected Him because – like Santa – we feel we have outgrown Him… and that He isn’t all He’s cracked up to be anyway.

As we approach Christmas, I hope we’re all excited about the parties, presents and delicious food. But I also hope it’s a time where we can rebuild relationships that have broken down and spend quality time with the people we love.

My greatest hope, though, is that we can focus on the relationship we have with God. At this time of year we remember that He sent His only Son to earth to live among us, and ultimately to die in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. 

Unlike Santa, who only pops up once a year, God will walk with us every day of our lives if we are just prepared to take the first step. And, unlike Santa, if you ask Him to prove that He’s real, He’ll actually do it. 

He is the very epitome of happily ever after love without the Hollywood cheese factor.

Anyway, it’s almost time for Annie Claus is Coming to Town, so I’ll bid you adieu. Or perhaps Merry Christmas would be more appropriate!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine - out soon!

One thing I’ve learnt from the Leveson Inquiry

Today I watched the live coverage of Lord Justice Leveson as he published his long-awaited report on the press.

In his speech he pointed out that the investigation started with the hacking of Milly Dowler's voicemail and expanded to cover politicians, the press and the police. 

There isn't one guilty party here; large sections of the industry and many outside it have been tarnished by this scandal. And Lord Leveson claimed those who had broken the rules had “wreaked havoc" on the lives of innocent people.

Sometimes in life we cut corners or engage in practices that are the norm at the time; often we just go along with things without thinking about the consequences. I'm not saying I've ever hacked the phone of a missing child, but sometimes just by staying silent we propagate certain behaviours.

Remember the MPs expenses scandal, for example. I imagine it was initially a case of someone buying a spot of lunch for a friend on their expenses rather than forking out for it themselves. Who’s to ever know? Others followed suit. It’s what everyone does, so why shouldn't I? Still others kept quiet about it; not actually doing it themselves but keeping schtum to protect those that did. Before long people were putting up duck houses and building moats around their houses.

A more sinister example is the Jimmy Savile scandal. It is now thought as many as 300 people were sexually abused by the former TV presenter; including victims as young as eight. Obviously, Savile's behaviour is reprehensible, that needs no discussion. But what of those who knew what was going on and facilitated it or even got involved themselves? We’ll probably never know just how sordid the whole situation was.

It might just be a small thing to start off with: an employee ‘borrowing’ stationary and eventually embezzling company funds; harassment of a colleague that results in a nervous breakdown or suicide attempt; or a friend’s casual interest in hardcore pornography that draws them into a situation where domestic violence occurs. 

I can't help thinking it would be better to make a stand before things got out of hand. Think Winterbourne View, Baby P and the Shannon Matthews case; why were these situations allowed to take place? Because no one stepped in and said: “Enough is enough.”

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have a responsibility to do things the right way: to avoid shortcuts and unlawful practices; to stand up against endemic actions and behaviours that we consider to be wrong; and to be prepared to ‘go public’ (by telling the relevant party) as soon as a dangerous pattern appears to be emerging.

Unlike those involved in the phone hacking scandal, we may not be hauled up in front of a panel to explain our actions (or inaction), but I believe that one day we will all have to give an account.

Romans 14:12 says: “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God”, and 1 Corinthians 4:5 says: “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.”

You might think that what you’re doing isn't hurting anyone, or that it is insignificant. But whether you’re the ringleader or you’re simply turning a blind eye, it’s time to get serious. Let’s get a handle on the scandal before it even becomes one.

PS I'm really glad the News of the World has finally gone.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine. 

(S)he that cannot obey cannot command!

I like this Benjamin Franklin saying, but I must admit that obedience and submission don’t come naturally to me… I like getting my own way far too much. Now I'm studying these concepts at Bible College and it’s challenging stuff.

When I was young and my mum told me not to do things, I often did them anyway and learnt the hard way that she was right all along. I now know that she told me not to do them because she wanted the best for me, not (as I thought then) because she wanted my life to be boring. I'm discovering the same thing about God’s commands.

Growing up in a Christian home, I also knew I should obey those in authority: parents, teachers, church leaders and bosses. I publicly did and said the right things (obedience) a lot of the time as a child/adolescent. 

Submission has been harder for me to learn. Often I outwardly did as I was told, but my heart wasn't in it. I complained about things (sometimes to myself, sometimes to others); I obeyed, but I wasn't fully submitted. This is something I'm still working on.

I am discovering, though, that God’s grace (ability) is what makes us able to obey – we don’t have to do it in our own strength (although we do still have to choose to obey). Jesus laid down His will entirely to do the Father’s will, and this is how we should live. I am also starting to realise that we should be obedient because we love God (John 14:15), and that this obedience should be instant and joyful. 

One area I am particularly challenged in is my driving. When I'm behind the wheel I take on my (earthly) father’s personality. I drive too fast, I get angry; I have even been known to swear. I disregard parking notices and speed limits. In short, I disobey the law and by doing so, I put myself and others at risk.

Initially, I laughed this behaviour off, but I soon came to realise that I wasn't just disobeying the law; I was disobeying God. If we disobey the laws of those in authority – who are in fact ordained by God Himself (Romans 13:1) – we disobey the One who is over all. And until we learn to yield to authority, we will never be good leaders ourselves.

I know that with the Holy Spirit’s help I can put off the old (wo)man with her anger, foul language and so on, and allow Him to renew my mind (Colossians 3:8-10). And the more I meditate on the Word and listen to the Spirit, the easier it becomes to obey and to emulate the personality of my Heavenly Father.

Eventually this should become a natural reaction rather than an adopted or forced behaviour. And Bristol’s roads will be all the safer for it!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

What’s so special about Justin Bieber’s mum?

Courtesy of Pattie Mallette

A couple of weeks ago I was offered an interview with Justin Bieber's mum. This had two immediate effects on me – the first was that I found myself singing that delightful “Baby” song in my head and have been trying to shift it ever since.

And I’ll be honest about my second reaction, too. Rather than jumping to a conclusion about her, I positively leapt to one: I mean, what on the earth could the mother of this teenage singing sensation have to say that could be of any real interest to me or the magazine?

I did what we all do in situations like this and googled her, expecting to find a couple of pictures of her and Justin prancing down a red carpet or too, but nothing of any real substance. I soon discovered I was wrong.

It turns out Pattie Mallette has penned a bestseller and that she is using her first-hand experience of child abuse, drug addiction and teenage pregnancy to help others. She even has her own Wikipedia page. My views on this rather beautiful young woman were starting to change.

We decided that her story would in fact be of great interest to Liberti readers and her agent swiftly shipped me a copy of her book, Nowhere but Up, which I had about two hours to read before the interview kicked off. I got started right away and was instantly moved by Pattie's story and by the frank, honest way she told it.

This is a woman who has been through a lot. I won’t spoil it for you, but I can pretty much guarantee it will move you; not only because of the subject matter, but because writing it down took guts and must have been painful to do. And because instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself she is determined to use her terrible experiences to give hope to those who have been through similar things.

Now a committed Christian, Pattie shares how her relationship with God has helped her to come through some extremely tough times and how, rather than pretending they didn't happen, she has confronted them and sought God’s healing and deliverance.

I’ll never just think of her as “Justin Bieber’s mum” again, although having a famous son has given her a good platform to share her story (and the foreword he wrote in the book is lovely). I now feel ashamed that I more or less wrote her off before I even knew anything about her.

She is brave, engaging and inspiring in equal measure and, if you’ll excuse the pun, I will endeavour never to judge a book by its cover again. I really enjoyed speaking to her and I hope you’ll enjoy reading what she had to say in the next issue of Liberti magazine (our January to March edition).

If you can’t wait that long, a whole host of other inspiring women have appeared in and written for the current issue (October to December), which focuses on ‘50 shades of freedom’.  It’s a good ’un if I do say so myself!

Why women and football really do mix

Yesterday I went to football training for the first time ever. I haven’t kicked a ball since I was about ten; back in the good old days when my brother and his friends stuck me in goal between their crumpled school jumpers and kicked balls at my face.

After letting in two million goals I normally ended up walking away with a nose bleed for my troubles.

Anyway, my initiation into women’s football didn’t start particularly well. I didn’t own a pair of suitable shorts or socks long enough to fit shin pads in… if I’d even owned a pair. I donned my best running leggings, a neutral green top and a pair of battered training from the less lazy, hazy days of my past. I hoped I wouldn’t be turning up to face a militant bunch of uniformed female football fanatics.

A friend of mine was picking me up, so at least we’d be going together, and she had only been to one training session (with a rival team, shhhh!) the week before, so we were both a bit nervous. Unfortunately, the “bear lefts” and “at the next junction turn left, right, a bit to the side and then completely back on yourself” of her sat nav took her almost to Weston Super Mare. Not only was this far from my house, it was a destination no sane person wishes to end up in at 7pm on a Wednesday night.

We made it to the training session half an hour late, which I was secretly pleased about. ‘At least there’s only half an hour left to make a fool of myself,’ I thought cheerfully to myself, before being told the session was actually an hour and a half and that as we’d missed the warm-up we were getting chucked in at the deep end.

My stomach lurched as we were separated into different groups and watched the first two girls go head-to-head while everyone watched. We were the last two up and we sprinted to the centre.

My friend got the ball and my legs (and brain) instantly turned to jelly. She almost walked the ball into the net like an absolute pro as I looked on helplessly. Her team scored and mine looked at me with a generous portion of pity and a large dollop of disappointment.

The rest of the session was intense but good. I’m still a bit scared of the ball, and of some of the other players (the very vocal ones you want to run away from as they come towards you), but it really got my heart racing and gave me a fresh appreciation of professional footballers’ work rates.

I even produced one kick I was quite proud of… even though the whistle immediately went for a free kick as it was indoor five-a-side and no overhead kicks are allowed, apparently.

Anyway, the point is that sometimes it’s beneficial to face your fears and do something you’re not actually that good at. If you always live in your comfort zone, you never feel that sense of achievement that comes from pushing yourself in a new direction, getting some decent exercise, working as part of a team and meeting some pretty cool people in the process. And I didn’t get a ball in the face all evening.

Best of all, there was free pizza and chips in the pub afterwards. Suffice to say I’ll probably be returning next week… for the pub bit at least!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7).

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Sing like you mean it

The Dunamis Gospel Choir came to my church last Sunday night.

As I walked into the building – slightly on the late side – my ears were embraced by the sound of young, tender voices.

That didn’t last long, because the chorus suddenly kicked in and the volume skyrocketed. The stage was filled with young, smiling faces; faces that were singing their hearts out.

Song after song graced the place, with completely different vocal arrangements for each. There were solos and a cappella harmonies galore. These kids could sing and they weren’t afraid to show it. There were African drum beats, scintillating saxophone notes and delicate flute twiddles (sorry, I don’t know the technical term).

Then all of a sudden, the choir members filed off the stage and sat down! I was gutted…

But it wasn’t over – they were just clearing the stage for a dance performance. Now I already knew these kids could sing, but I had no idea they were about to wow us with their moves too. Suffice to say they pulled it off.

Another musical selection followed, with a powerful sketch and some great poems thrown in for good measure.

But it was the final section that really blew my mind. Several of the songs literally gave me shivers up my spine; not only were they talented, these kids’ voices (and instruments) were powerfully anointed.

I should add that throughout the performance, members of the choir took it in turns to share a bit about their past and the difference the choir, its founder Daniel (‘Pastor D’) and getting to know Jesus had made in their lives.

Among them were ex-gang members, kids who had been badly treated by parents, and young people who had had substance abuse problems – some of them were as young as 12.

At the beginning I assumed they were all from Christian homes, or had at least become Christians before they joined the choir. But as the evening wore on (or glided by, more accurately), it became clear that this was an ongoing work.

These kids didn’t give polished ‘testimonies’; their stories were raw and from the heart. They were genuine, and they made me cry. In fact, they made most of the audience cry… and they even made each other cry. It was beautiful to see how much they rejoiced in each other’s victories and turnarounds.

Pastor D had clearly selected a group of kids who had basic musical talent and who needed to be part of something that was bigger than their own lives; to give them something to work towards and develop into; a family where older guys lovingly embraced younger guys and girls stood hand in hand rather than backbiting and tearing each other down.

The genius of his vision is that by including them regardless of their beliefs, this choir is transforming people’s hearts from the inside out. Indeed two of the choir members had come to Christ in the two or three days leading up to the event and another that very night. (I actually heard since writing this from Pastor D that this figure is closer to seven!)

I’ve never, and I mean never, seen kids who were happier and more fulfilled than these rough-around-the-edges teens from East London.

I’m not going to say every note was perfect, that each changeover was absolutely seamless or that the words spoken were breathtakingly eloquent. I will say, though, that I was moved beyond all expectation by the work that was being done in their lives, and by the way it was spilling over into the lives of others.

As they spoke out what God had done in their lives, they reaffirmed to themselves what they believed. They encouraged their friends and fellow choir members. And they blessed everyone in the building’s socks off. I just wish all Christians were as beautifully honest and open to the Holy Spirit as they were.

Mark my words, these kids will be at the helm of a new generation of great preachers, singers and performers. The legacy Pastor D is creating will be far-reaching and impossible to quench.

Acts 1:8: “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

What legacy are you leaving?

In his first major speech as Prime Minister, David Cameron set out his Olympic legacy aspiration:

"Make sure the Olympics legacy lifts East London from being one of the poorest parts of the country to one that shares fully in the capital's growth and prosperity."

The word “legacy” was bandied about throughout the Olympic period and, on August 12, Sebastian Coe was appointed Olympics legacy ambassador.

Cameron told the BBC there was a "huge opportunity" to build the legacy for the Games. He said that Lord Coe had "done a brilliant job delivering the best Games ever" and added: "Now I want him to help me deliver the best Olympic legacy ever."

This got me thinking about the meaning of “legacy”. It often relates to money, and there's an element of this here, but surely there has to be more to it. Well according to dictionary.com, it means: “a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest; anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor”. Think Steve Redgrave handing over the torch for the seven young athletes to light the cauldron at the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Having just finished a full week helping out at a holiday Bible club, I’ve had this word at the back of my mind for a while. People are always complaining about kids today, but in many ways they are simply the product of the legacy we have created for them. 

If we are passing on negative thoughts, anger, bitterness and foul language, how exactly do we expect them to behave? It’s our job to leave them a legacy during our lifetimes that will last well after we are gone. And I’m not just talking about school sports fields (although I do think they’re important!)

The kids at the club were enthusiastic, intelligent and inspirational. It was an absolute privilege being able to spend time with them and to encourage them to follow their dreams.

But with the week over and these kids preparing to go back to school, I hope they’ve taken away principles that will set them up for the rest of their lives: how to overcome real hurdles, finish the race and pass on the baton. I hope they have new ideas about what life is all about and about fixing their eyes on Jesus; about working as part of a team rather than just looking out for themselves; and about how much God loves them.

I don’t know about the kids, but I’ve certainly come away with a new outlook on life and am determined to a) appreciate the legacy that has been left for me by others and b) to leave a legacy that will bless others in the years to come.

In 30 years’ time, the Olympics will be a fond but distant memory, but I hope these amazing kids will remember some of things they’ve learnt and will go on to develop their own ideas about who Jesus is and why they should follow him.

After all, Jesus was all about legacy. Okay, so in human terms he didn't leave a wife or child, a house, clothes, business or money. But what he did leave was far more important. Jesus left us his powerful word and teachings; he revealed who God is; he gave his life to allow us to be reconciled to the Father; he rose again to defeat death so that we could have eternal life; and he left us the Holy Spirit to guide, comfort and protect us. 

Romans 8:17 says: "And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering."

If all the seven- to eleven-year-olds in the UK are as amazing as the children we got to spend the week with, I think our nation can expect great things in the next few decades: things that are even greater than 65 hard-won medals. I’m excited about the legacy we're leaving!

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

What does Jesus have to do with Shelly-Ann’s Olympic win?

Jamaican athlete Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce clinched an extremely close victory in the women’s 100 metre final on August 4. Her eyes were glued to the board after the race to see whether she or USA’s Carmelita Jeter would take the coveted gold.

Then, when her name appeared in the top spot, she fell to the ground and shouted, "Thank you, Jesus!"

As a Christian, I thought this was a remarkable reaction. I’ve seen athletes (and their trainers/parents/partners) happily taking credit for their success, but it’s rare to see such an open reference to faith on the world stage.

But wasn’t her success down to the early morning starts, the gruelling training sessions, the sacrifice of all things tasty and the mental determination to cross that finish line?

What could Jesus possibly have to do with it?

Well the apostle Paul famously talks about running “with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1). Now I think he was seeing the Christian life as a race, rather than entering the Grecian Games back in the day, but the basic principles are the same.

It might seem obvious, but Paul points out that if we’re not in it, we can’t win it: “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 

“And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 

“Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

So what are we ‘running for’?

To win the ultimate prize: fellowship with God on earth, and eternity with Him in heaven when this life comes to an end. “I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus,” Paul says in Philippians 3:14.

But what if I’m not very ‘athletic’?

That’s ok, because Paul says: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13); moreover, we are at our best when we admit our weaknesses and allow God to come through for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Ok, so if God’s going to do all the work for us, can’t we just sit back and let it all happen?

Well, it’s important that we understand the rules and avoid being wrongfooted by technicalities. 

Is there anything worse than seeing an athlete booted out of a final because they haven’t followed the letter of the law? A life’s hope thrown away because of a moment of bad judgment?

Paul makes it clear that “An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules” (2 Timothy 2:5).

This doesn’t mean we have to be perfect; God’s grace is incredible and the price has been paid for all our sins – past, present and future. But following God’s rules (laid out in the Bible) is key to living a fulfilling Christian life.

“Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Corinthians 9:25).

Whether we are athletes or not, we are expected to show endurance, perseverance and determination. We are called to keep our eyes on the prize (Jesus) wherever our ‘race’ take us. And we also need to give glory to God while we run, acknowledging that without Jesus, we could never finish our race or enjoy our everlasting reward.

Thanks to Shelly-Ann for reminding me that Jesus has everything to do with her (and my) victory. 

On a separate note, Shelly-Ann’s victory marked the 50th anniversary of Jamaica’s independence from Great Britain. On August 5, 1962, the Union Jack was lowered for the final time at National Stadium in Kingston. In a twist of fate, the Jamaican flag was raised in the UK on August 5, 2012 to commemorate her excellent achievement. It was also the day some guy called Usain Bolt clinched the men’s 100 metre gold. 

Thirty is a dirty word

I have a secret to share, and it’s not something I’m particularly comfortable telling you… I turned 30 last Saturday (sssh!).

This was a milestone I have been dreading since I turned 20. No matter how many people tell you “you’re still young”, it is one of those defining moments in your life where you can’t help but look back and think about what you have (or haven’t) achieved.

My devastation peaked when a friend who turned 30 a day or two after me posted the following on Facebook: “In the last 10 years I've become a teacher, bought a house, got married and had 2 gorgeous little girls! Wonder what the next 10 years will bring????”


I realised with a horrible, sinking feeling that I haven’t done ANY of these things. I didn’t even own a car until earlier this year, let alone a house. I’m not married and the only pitter patter I can hear is the incessant raindrops on my bedroom window.

To compound my pain, I googled “things to do before you’re 30” to find out what else I should have done and haven’t.

I even resorted (horror of horrors) to reading a Daily Mail list of suggestions on the subject.

Interestingly, the whole list was about things women shouldn’t and mustn’t do once they hit 30.

From chewing gum to wearing above-the-knee skirts and texting, I felt at least 30 times worse after reading these rules. I took small comfort in the fact that I no longer bite my nails (well hardly ever) and don’t have any tattoos (mainly because I’m a wimp) – which were big no-nos on the list. 

After a short pity party (probably something else I’m not allowed to do now I’m 30), I decided to pull myself together and stop dwelling on these shallow, prescriptive rules. If there’s one things I’ve learnt in life it’s that the Daily Mail shouldn’t be your guidebook for life.

Okay, so I haven’t got a house and a family, but I’ve travelled, I’ve laughed, I’ve partied, I’ve cried with friends and I’ve loved, lost and loved again. I’ve worn some horrendous outfits and had a great time regardless. I’ve played chess with my 100-year-old granddad and managed to overlook his cheating ways. I’ve left the rat race to do something I love doing and I’ve met some truly incredible people along the way.

Even more importantly, though, I know that God has a perfect plan for my life; a plan to give me a hope AND a future. He doesn’t see me as a deteriorating 30-year-old with saggy knees (see Daily Mail list), but as a one-off designer piece that He himself knitted together in my mother’s womb.

I have gifts that no-one else on this earth has and am blessed to be able to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus every single day. 


So instead of looking back in horror at the mistakes I’ve made and opportunities I’ve missed, I’m looking ahead to a glorious future, on this earth and then in eternity.

In case you’re wondering, I will also be selecting the online newspapers I read much more carefully.

Setting boundaries is biblical and liberating!

I’m just about to complete my first semester of Bible School, and it’s already beginning to change my life. One of the modules, in particular, has made me rethink the decisions I make on a daily basis. 

It’s called Boundaries, and its aim is to help people take ownership of their own actions. One of the first principles of this practical and thought-provoking course is learning how to say “NO!” to things. This in itself is a revolutionary concept to me!

I thought I’d share a bit of it with you to get you thinking about where the boundaries lie in your own life. I’m sure we could all do with ‘fixing up the fences’ around our ‘properties’ (bodies, minds and hearts) and making sure we protect ourselves from the many people and things that want to invade our space each day. So here are some of the basic principles…

A boundary is a personal property line defining where a property begins and ends. We are called to set physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries; distinguishing what belongs to us and what we are responsible for (Galatians 6:5-8). Establishing boundaries is about setting limits that protect us from harm, maintain order and help us to not to “stray” from (violate the boundaries of) God’s commands (Psalm 119:20-24).

God introduced boundaries right from creation (darkness/light, land/sea) and gave Adam and Eve clear boundaries (rules and responsibilities) in the Garden of Eden. Jesus had boundaries: He only ever did what the Father had instructed Him to do (John 5:19) and He often introduced physical boundaries between Himself and others when He withdrew to pray. Jesus says: “I stand at the door, and knock” (Revelation 3:20). He never invades our space without permission.

Boundaries define what we are personally responsible for and help us fulfil our God-given purpose. They also allow us to say no to things without feeling guilty. They prevent us from having our property (time/values/relationships) invaded or corrupted (2 Peter 1:2-4). They enable us to guard our hearts, minds and bodies (1 Peter 1:13), which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Failure to protect and maintain our boundaries can lead to sin and the consequences of this sin.

Boundaries give us control and true freedom (John 8:32). They allow us to choose how to respond to provocation and offence. Effective boundaries help us to remain sin (“trespass”) free, which means we don’t hurt others or encroach on their property. Boundaries guard our “treasure” but allow us to live in communion with God and others, giving us the freedom to choose life or death (Deuteronomy 30:16-19; Romans 8:13). Ultimately, boundaries help us to become more Christlike.

If you are continually saying “yes” to people, when really you mean “no” or “maybe”, or you allow people to walk all over your life rules and values, I’d encourage you to take a Boundaries course or to read Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. The principles are simple and it’s surprisingly liberating.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Save some pennies and shed some pounds

Just when you thought the worst was over, news of a double-dip recession breaks. But although times are tough, there’s no need to resort to wartime rationing.

By introducing a few simple measures it’s easy to save a few quid, lose a couple of pounds (weight-wise) and do our bit for the environment. 

Here are a few tips to get you started...

1. Travel

If the idea of giving up your car drives you crazy, it might be worth downsizing, joining a carpool or even ‘sharing’ some wheels. It’s better for the environment and could get you on the road to financial recovery.

           

Those who feel brave enough to ditch the motor altogether might consider swapping four wheels for two. Find out if your company is part of the government cycle initiative, which will get you 20% off a bike, helmet and accessories and could even allow you to give up your expensive gym membership. Get fit and shape up your finances at the same time!

2. Banking

Debt should be dealt with as a priority. Consider switching any debt you have to an interest-free, balance transfer credit card. Pay off as much as you can each month, but make sure you at least meet the minimum payment every (on time). Red definitely isn’t the new black!

A cash ISA is a good way to save as it’s tax-free. It may be worth going for a fixed-term, limited-access version so you’re not tempted to cash in your stash. This type of account offers a higher rate of interest than an easy-access ISA.

3. Groceries

Plan your food shop carefully in advance, preferably meal by meal. Then when you get to the supermarket, stick to your detailed shopping list! This will reduce waste and help you to avoid unhealthy, purse-draining impulse buys.

Buy seasonal fruit and vegetables and use leftovers rather than throwing them away. There’s nothing tastier than a bit of bubble and squeak on a Monday night, nom nom.

Taking a packed lunch to work rather than buying a sandwich each day, and try cutting out your posh morning coffee. At the risk of sounding like a granny, a flask is quick to make up and could save you about £10 a week!

4. Bills

Get switched on about your energy bills and shop around to see whether you could get a better deal. Some providers offer discounts if you buy gas and electricity combined, and many reward customers who pay straight away or by direct debit. Visit www.energysavingtrust.org.uk for great energy-saving tips.

Broadband and mobile phone bills can also add up. Compare deals before you sign up and find out whether you could get cashback on a new deal (see sites like Quidco and TopCashback for more information). Some companies offer packaged deals that bundle TV services, broadband, landline and even mobile phone contracts, which may cut costs.

5. Leisure

Take advantage of discount sites such as Groupon, LivingSocial and kgbdeals. They offer a range of cheap days out, restaurant discounts and even cut-price holidays, allowing you to do fun things without breaking the bank.

Avoid buying expensive new clothes, shoes, accessories and electrical items. Why not host an 80s-style swap shop instead? You can rid your wardrobe of items you’ve never worn or are fruitlessly hoping to squeeze into again and hunt down some bargains of your own. Get everyone to bring a plate and a bottle and you’ve got a low-budget, sociable evening sorted.

Remember to...

...Think of ways you can give to the people around you without spending a fortune: offer to mow a neighbour’s lawn, babysit for a friend or do a day’s volunteering. The cost to you will be minimal, but the reward will be eternal.

...Be obedient with your tithe, giving the first 10% of all you earn to God. This may seem like a lot if your budget is tight, but it is something we are called to do – and with glad hearts.

Malachi 3:10 says: “‘Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.’” 

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

What do you go to church for?

I had lunch with a close friend this week and the conversation somehow wound its way round to church.

She’s taken a break from it for the last few years but is thinking about going back. There’s one thing stopping her though: she feels like a hypocrite.

She explained that she wouldn’t be going to turn back to God, but for the sense of community church life brings. Coming from a family where the door is always open to friends, she misses the social aspect and the values it teaches. But she feels a bit uncomfortable about the praise and worship side of things. And while her husband supports her in everything she does, he is worried church members will make her split up with him if she starts going.

I personally think she’d get a lot out of church, both from a social and a spiritual point of view, and it’s probably her own reticence that will act as the biggest obstacle to her enjoyment of church itself. I’m also 100% sure no-one would try to split up her marriage – it’s a God-ordained institution (and he’s lovely!).

Anyway, my problem with church is the complete opposite. It’s only when I’m worshipping God that I feel completely free. It’s the social side of things that I struggle with. I’ve been known to sneak in as the first song starts, sit alone at the back and sneak out as the invitation for tea and coffee goes out.

I’m horrible at small talk and blush embarrassingly when I feel awkward. I’m also bad at recognising people I’ve spoken to before, so I’m always wary of asking questions I should already know the answer to! What if someone asks me something and I don’t give a holy enough answer? What if they invite me to something when there’s football on?!

I have been working on this, and the friendship groups I’ve built up in various churches over the years have been incredible. But I still get incredibly nervous when I go to a church where I don’t know anyone.

Like last week…

I made it inside through a maze of doors and was confronted by a host of indistinguishable older ladies: similar shape, hairstyle, fashion sense, glasses. They were invariably named Phyllis, Ann, Joyce and Edna and were all immensely friendly (one even invited me to lunch after the service… but there was football on).

The service itself was fine, although there were a few awkward moments. Phyllis/Ann/Joyce/Edna did an exercise with the kids involving a map cut into pieces and ‘hidden’ around the room. This went horribly wrong when one little boy grabbed a pile and refused to bring them to the front. (Hilarious.)

Then we were split into small groups to pray for the church’s missionaries, something I’m used to, but is still a bit awkward if you’re a visitor. The mood was significantly lightened when another little boy broke free of his parents and started attacking the piano (and our ear drums). Stevie Wonder he was not.

Finally, a guest speaker approached the microphone. Now I’m not saying middle-aged, leather-jacket-wearing Cockneys can’t be good preachers… but this guy wasn’t. Moments of greatness were interspersed with loud and repetitive cries for us to “get desperate for Jesus”. And I’m pretty sure he offended some of the Anns and Ednas when he said he wanted to see some “life back in this place”.

I resisted the urge to run away immediately after the service – in fact I spoke to another Joy and a young couple, all of whom were lovely. But it’s still the social side of church that I struggle with the most.

Whatever it is that puts us off, though, there are so many advantages to church. We get to worship our Heavenly Father. We develop relationships that are more like family than some of our own families. And we can then collectively take the love of God into our communities; representing Jesus to those who would rather stick pins in their eyes than go to church.

Every church has imperfections, and many of us find aspects of church difficult. But after 29 years of going, I’m convinced the pros far outweigh the cons.

I’m definitely looking forward to being back at my own church this Sunday, though!

I can’t TAKE it any more!

Yesterday I read that Rihanna was being treated for exhaustion and it made me think about the pressures celebrities face.

Many young girls and women dream of becoming a famous pop star with the glamorous lifestyle it brings. But few realise that getting to the top invariably involves long days, lack of sleep, constant travel, physical exertion and lack of privacy. 

If wannabe singers knew what it really involved, would they go for it?

Furthermore, if many of us realised how stressful it would be to get our dream job, have a family or overcome our various physical challenges, would we be game to take the risk?

The fact is, modern life is stressful. We are constantly on the go… always reachable by some form of technology… always feeling like we should be doing more.

Do you ever feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day? That as soon as one task is done, ten additional jobs will torpedo themselves into your ‘inbox’?

When we get stressed, our bodies release stress hormones. These hormones raise our blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels and long-term stress can lead to mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety, obesity, heart disease, skin problems and (in women) menstrual problems.

So what can we do about it?

Well, on a practical level, it’s worth exploring what the cause of our stress is. We may not be able (or willing) to give up us our jobs/motherhood/illness/family strife but there may be ways to reduce stress.

Do you take on more responsibility than you need to?

Do you feel guilty delegating work to others?

Do you have trouble saying ‘no’ to things you know you don’t have the time or energy to do?

Are you constantly striving for things you think will make you happy but in reality don’t?

Once you’ve had a think about this, it’s worth finding out what God says about stress:

1. It is a real thing that affects us all: “The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me” (Job 30:27)                                                                                                         

“All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied” (Ecclesiastes 6:7)

  

2. Stress makes us unproductive and unfruitful: “The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful” (Matthew 13:22)                        

“Unless the Lord builds the house, it's builders labour in vain...In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat” (Psalm 127:1-2)

3. The answer is Christ: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27)

So how should we respond? By making the right choices…

“You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Choose what is better and it will not be taken from you” (Luke 10:41-42).

What is the “better” option though? Relationship with God…

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

The woman who spends time with God and reading His Word, she will be…

“Like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever she does prospers” (Psalm 1:1-3).

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

The write road to recovery

I’ve been a bookworm since before I could read. I loved the look and feel of books, the smell of the pages and the world they transported me to while my nose was hidden between their leaves.

Not just content to read, I created my own narratives from an early age. 

Aged ten-and-a-half I wrote my first short story, which (in equal measure) delighted my teacher and terrified my mum with its ahead-of-my-years content.

Words continue to fascinate me and I recently penned my first novel… a children’s book (the content of which is probably still ahead of my years!) For me, writing is a hobby, a source of income and, at times, even a form of therapy.

The majority of my book was written while I had a severe throat infection. I had an abscess in my throat that prevented me from talking, swallowing, eating and drinking. I eventually ended up in A&E and was in so much pain I genuinely wanted to die: think tonsillitis and then times that by ten (or by a million if, like me, you’re prone to exaggeration).

Because the pain was worse first thing in the morning, I was too afraid to sleep, so for three days solid I kept myself awake and tried to take my mind off it. Writing my book was one of the only things that helped, and it was awesome that something good came out of something so horrendous. It needs redrafting now and although I’m hoping to avoid the throat lurgy this time round, it’s good to know there’s something I can do if it strikes again!

But it seems I’m not the only one to have spotted the link between physical trials and prosaic therapy. Writing in The Telegraph, Jessica Jones explains how Guillain Barré Syndrome rendered her totally paralysed at the age of 25. One day her toes felt numb, then a week later she was unable to move, breathe or speak.

Jessica’s mother, who sat faithfully by her hospital bedside throughout, read PG Wodehouse aloud to her, using different voices for each character. “Inside my waxen, immobile body I was aching with laughter. Those books were written with a lightness and sense of the absurd that helped me to find the funny side of my own predicament,” Jessica writes.

Although she had to relearn to walk, talk and write, she has never forgotten how listening to them helped her “to escape the terror and confusion of being paralysed”. And whether it was her illness or her new-found love for Wodehouse that got to her, Jessica decided to pen her own masterpiece.

The Elegant Art of Falling Apart has been described as “inspiring, unflinchingly honest, and even at times laugh out loud hilarious”. It not only documents this terrible paralysis, it also covers her battle with cancer and being dumped straight after. Like me, Jessica seems to have found comfort in both listening to books being read and writing her own.

Having said that, the book that brings me the greatest consolation in the world is the Bible. Why? Because it is true and it has all the answers. It doesn’t just act as a distraction (like a novel) or an opportunity to vent (like an autobiography). It is rich in meaning, in language and in the way it connects the soul as well as the mind.

Whether you’re a traditional book reader, a fan of the Kindle, or an audiobook/podcast kind of person, it is the only piece of literature that can transform your world. The Bible also constantly reminds me that however literary and creative I think I am, God is just a tiny bit better at it! 

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.