Fantasy versus reality

Working from home certainly has its perks. One of the greatest, in my opinion, is the option to watch cheesy Christmas films as I tap away on my laptop. Needless to say, Christmas 24 has been on every day for the last month or so in the Tibbs household; I just can’t get enough of it.

Having watched most of the films now (some of them twice), I’m beginning to notice a certain pattern. At the start, a child is let down by his or her parents and/or Santa and grows up to be a grumpy, workaholic scrooge. He or she has no time for love or adventure and very often neglects his/her own kids as a result.

But just when you’re starting to give up all hope, some magical intervention occurs, Santa is proven to be real (as if we ever doubted it) and, more often than not, a happy-ever-after love story ensues.

I’m not knocking this formula; it works a treat. In fact, I can almost predict to the minute when I will be reduced to tears, the moments where I will have to watch through my fingers because the cringe factor is so high, and the moment when I will need to clear my throat for the final carol-singing scene.

But in many ways, this repeated narrative reflects real life. Many children are scarred by the actions of a parent or someone in authority who has hurt them or let them down. They carry this pain through their lives and into new relationships, eventually passing it onto their children.

Others embrace the idea of God during childhood, seeing Him as a magical, Santa-like being who gives us all the things we want and meets all of our needs. But by the time we reach double figures we have rejected Him because – like Santa – we feel we have outgrown Him… and that He isn’t all He’s cracked up to be anyway.

As we approach Christmas, I hope we’re all excited about the parties, presents and delicious food. But I also hope it’s a time where we can rebuild relationships that have broken down and spend quality time with the people we love.

My greatest hope, though, is that we can focus on the relationship we have with God. At this time of year we remember that He sent His only Son to earth to live among us, and ultimately to die in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. 

Unlike Santa, who only pops up once a year, God will walk with us every day of our lives if we are just prepared to take the first step. And, unlike Santa, if you ask Him to prove that He’s real, He’ll actually do it. 

He is the very epitome of happily ever after love without the Hollywood cheese factor.

Anyway, it’s almost time for Annie Claus is Coming to Town, so I’ll bid you adieu. Or perhaps Merry Christmas would be more appropriate!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine - out soon!

How to be an employee and a Christian at the same time

There has been endless debate about the separation of church and state, and it seems the dispute is spilling over into the workplace with increasing velocity.

Recent news reports have highlighted the general view that work is work, and faith is faith; that the two things must be mutually exclusive.

Whether that means not wearing a cross to work, or cutting out prayer before council meetings, it seems the workplace is gradually being deChristianised. (If that’s not a word it soon will be!)

The question that arises then is, should I carry on working as a closet Christian or give up my faith and just get on with my job? Well neither, obviously. But I do think it’s important that we live out what we believe carefully and without compromising who we are in Christ.

It’s hard to strike a balance between fitting in, getting the job done and being a super Christian. If you’ve managed it, please let me know the secret! But I personally believe it’s impossible (and undesirable) to leave our faith at home when we head into work. Faith isn't like a hat that you can choose to put on if there's a storm brewing (literal or metaphorical); it's on the inside of you... whether you like it or not!

Telling someone to stop being a Christian at work is like asking someone to separate themselves from their nationality/political beliefs/deep love of cheese. Being a Christian isn’t what we do on Sundays, it is who we are, and it informs (or at least it should inform) everything we do. I’m a Christian when I go to watch Liverpool play, when I’m having lunch with a friend or when I’m up to my neck in proofreading.

So should we be quoting the Bible every time a colleague asks us a question, or offering to lay hands on our colleagues at their first sniffle? I wouldn’t recommend it. 

I personally think it’s usually the small things that set us apart, like:
  

•  Being absolutely honest, even if it means we get into trouble or lose money as a result
• Taking a genuine interest in our workmates and praying for them – especially the difficult ones (you know who I’m talking about)
• Showing respect for the boss even if he or she is wrong/being unreasonable
• Refusing to engage in gossip (even if you really want to know what Delia said to Chelsea at the staff do)
• Inviting our colleagues to social events and building lasting relationships with them
• Forgiving people rather than bearing grudges
• Standing up for the things that are really important
• Respecting people of other faiths or no faith and welcoming open discussion about what you believe and why
• Maintaining a positive attitude. No one likes a grump!
• Having cake/chocolate/cookies on hand at all times

None of this is groundbreaking stuff, and you probably do these things without even thinking about it. But while wearing a cross might suggest you are a Christian (although to be fair every self-respecting gangsta rapper does this), living an upright, gracious life every day will prove that you are.

The best piece of advice I’ve been given when it comes to living out my faith at work is to start the morning with prayer and continue in this attitude throughout the day. It’s hard to get offended/offend others if we approach work with the same heart of humility and thankfulness with which we approach God.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Love is all around us

Following on from last week’s blog, I’d like to share some other nuggets from the Exceptional Women’s Conference.

In case you missed the last entry, the theme for the conference was LOVE, based on John 4:7, which says: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God”.

Guest speaker Marion Meyers (senior pastor of The River Church in Devon) took two of the four main speaker spots at the event, which ran March 30-31.

I can’t say her teaching was exactly comfortable to listen to, but it was certainly relevant, poignant and incredibly powerful. At least, that’s how I felt about it.

Her first session was entitled “Looking for love in the wrong places”. She introduced the topic by explaining how she once took a play therapy course that talked about the concept of a ‘love tank’. In response to this, she told her two children that when they were hungry or thirsty, they had a little tank that mummy would fill when it was empty. In the same way, she told them they had a ‘love tank’ that she would fill with hugs any time they felt they needed love.

But she believes many women who grew up in homes where mum and/or dad were AWOL struggle to fill their ‘love tank’; many don’t even know how to do this. As a result, the tank gets broken and leaky; it never feels full enough.

This, Pastor Marion said, is something that God anticipated many moons ago. “For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2:13).

But that’s just the bad news. She pointed out that God is too gracious and merciful to allow people to remain in this broken state. His response is to provide a fountain of living water that never runs dry and permanently quenches our thirst for love (John 4:7-19).

“My joy, peace and happiness do not rely on anyone else loving or being nice to me,” Pastor Marion commented. “When we are filled up with living water there is nothing more satisfying.”

Like the woman at the well with the six ‘husbands’, she claimed women who look for love in the wrong places will be constantly unhappy, vulnerable and tormented; and they will always struggle to comprehend the love of God. The solution, she said, is to practically come to know the love of Christ for ourselves.

Carrying on from her Friday session, Pastor Marion’s Saturday slot, entitled “Bad Love” began with Ephesians 3:17-19, which talks about being “rooted and grounded in love” and knowing “the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God”.

She played a clip from Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, which includes lyrics such as: “I want your ugly, I want your disease; I want your everything, as long as it's free; I want your love.”

As the song shows, some women would rather have bad love than no love, and this means we allow ourselves to make excuses for the people in our lives that treat us badly. “Love and bad can’t go in the same sentence!” Pastor Marion said. “Love is empowering and accepting; it wants you to fly! It doesn’t want to squeeze you into a box and keep you locked up.”

But Pastor Marion claimed that God is into “swapsies”; that he trades beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. And that if people allow this to happen they will never thirst again. “If you can get loving yourself right you won’t put up with bad love,” she concluded.

As Solomon says in Proverbs 27:7: “A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

Read more from Joy in the next edition of Liberti magazine.

The best of the summer fests

If you’re a festival fanatic, you’ll be most disappointed to hear there’s no Glasto this year. But never fear, there are plenty of other live music events to liven up your summer.

Whether you prefer rock, indie, jazz, dance, pop or a good old mix, you’ll be sure to find something to keep you swaying in the sun.


Here are a few of Liberti's favourite Christian and secular fests:

Christian events

Greenbelt

Greenbelt has attracted some pretty big names from the music industry over the years including: U2, Moby, Goldie, Jamelia, The Proclaimers, Daniel Bedingfield, Amy Grant, Athlete, Sixpence None the Richer and Delirious?. Although it started out as a purely Christian music festival, Greenbelt is now attended by believers and non-believers alike – 21,000 of them in fact.

Geeky festival fact

Greenbelt was one of the main catalysts for the Jubilee 2000 movement, which called for the cancellation of third-world debt.

Date and venue

August 24-27 at Cheltenham Racecourse.

New Wine

Participants at this year’s New Wine event will include: J John, Danielle Strickland, Francis Chan, Rosie and Tim Bunn, Carl Beech and Maggie Ellis. Fantastic entertainment has been planned for Gems (0-2s), Pebbles (3-4s), Groundbreakers (5-7s), Rock Solid (8-9s) and Boulder Gangers (10-11s) and this year will see the launch of a new evening celebration venue for young adults.

Geeky festival fact

Among its other great resources, New Wine has its own on-site radio station to keep visitors up-to-date at all times.

Dates and venues

July 21 to July 27 at Royal Bath & West Showground, Shepton Mallet; July 28 to August 4 at Newark & Nottinghamshire County Showground, Newark; July 29 to August 4 at Royal Bath & West Showground, Shepton Mallet.

Soul Survivor

Soul Survivor is a five-day event that attracts around 28,000 visitors each year. It primarily targets teenagers and young adults, but it’s fun for grownups too. This year’s speakers will include: Suzie Brock, Gavin Calver, Jeannie Morgan and Patrick Regan.

Geeky festival fact

There is also a Midlands-based soul band called The Soul Survivors so make sure you don’t get them mixed up.

Dates and venues

July 27-31 at Stafford Showground; August 7-11 at Bath & West Showground; August 12-16 at Bath & West Showground.

Secular events

Bestival

Describing itself as a “boutique music festival”, this three-day event is a by-product of Rob da Bank's Sunday Best legacy. It’s more eclectic than some of its predecessors and is well known for its fancy dress themes, Bollywood Cocktail Bar and Hidden Disco.

Those who don’t fancy camping might prefer Bestival’s Tipi, Yurt or PodPad accommodation options.

Geeky festival fact

Organisers recently introduced a Breastival baby area for new mothers.

Date and venue

September 6-9 (ok, so it’s not strictly summer!) at Robin Hill Country Park, Isle of Wight.

Latitude

First held in 2006, Latitude is a relative newcomer in the festival arena. But what it lacks in history, it makes up for in fantastic music, theatre, art, comedy, cabaret, poetry, politics, dance and literature. Last year’s acts included Florence and the Machine, Ardal O'Hanlon, Simon Armitage, Vivienne Westwood, Pet Shop Boys, Kate Nash, Sigur Rós and Andrew Motion.

Geeky festival fact

Latitude is run by Festival Republic, which runs the Reading and Leeds festivals and is also contracted to run Glastonbury.

Date and venue

July 12-15 at Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk.

Benicàssim

Our favourite overseas secular event takes place on Spain’s east coast between Valencia and Alicante. The weather is likely to be a bit more reliable than at UK festivals and if (in the unlikely event) you fancy a break from the music, you can head to the beach. Among the acts at last year’s fest were: Paolo Nutini, The Strokes, LeFreak, Bombay Bicycle Club, Mumford & Sons, Arctic Monkeys, Tinie Tempah  and a load of European acts I’ve never heard of but I’m sure are awesome. 

Geeky festival fact

The name “Benicàssim” comes from the Arabic for “sons of Qasim” (whoever the heck Qasim is).

Date and venue

July 12-15 in Benicàssim, Costa Azahar, Spain. 

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

How will you spend Valentine’s Day?

Gone are the days of sitting by the front door, waiting for the postman to arrive laden with red envelopes on Valentine’s Day. It never actually happened, but every year I dreamt my knight would sweep me off my feet with one of Clinton’s finest cards.

Now the only red envelopes that are likely to drop through the letterbox are bills I’ve forgotten to pay. And let’s face it, no-one dreams of having their phone cut off on Valentine’s Day.

I wouldn’t say I’m cynical about it – I have no problem being wooed with flowers or gifts – but I absolutely hate shopping for Valentine’s cards. 

I honestly felt nauseous the last time I did it, and left with the least romantic one I could find. Messageless inside, the front read: ‘Resistance is Futile’. It wasn’t a massive hit.

I think my problem is that ‘love poems’ and clichéd phrases mean nothing to me. I don’t want someone to promise to “love me to the moon and back”, that’s not even possible! I think genuine, heartfelt words and gestures – however small – are so much better.

A packet of love hearts under the pillow, a message in the steam on the bathroom mirror, a trip to the zoo… it really doesn’t matter as long as you have put some thought into it and are doing something that you know your loved one will really like. 

I’ve also realised love isn’t only for couples. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you can show love to someone on February 14. 

I was really touched to see that Kate Middleton (or Catherine Mountbatten-Windsor as she is officially known) will be spending Valentine’s at Alder Hey children’s hospital this year.

She could have spent the day moping over Wills, who is in the Falklands with the RAF, and forgotten about the rest of the world. But her decision to visit kids with serious illnesses is a wonderful way to spend Valentine’s Day, and I’m sure it will put a smile on many faces, young and old.

So what can we do to show real love on this over-commercialised occasion? Perhaps we could offer to babysit for a couple that is struggling to spend time together. Or visit someone who has lost a husband or wife. Or maybe we could find a special gift for someone who is in need.

Whatever we do, let’s make love an everyday event. We don’t have to send a card to tell people we love them – although they might like it if you do. 

It’s about using whatever we have to reach others: on February 14 and the other 364 days of the year.

After all, the Bible makes no reference to Valentine’s Day, but it mentions love more than 300 times. It’s a God-given commandment, and – at the risk of sounding super cheesy myself – one that has the power to change the world.

Feel free to tell us below how you’ll be spending Valentine’s Day this year. 

Read more from Joy in the upcoming edition of Liberti magazine.

My guilty secret

I have a slight obsession with anything crime-related. Cop shows, crime novels, documentaries about serial killers… I even like those terrible American police chase programmes.

There’s something about good triumphing over evil and the exposure of the criminal mind that fascinates me.

So when I stumbled across a free iPhone app called ‘Crime City’ (a real steal!), my fingers started twitching with anticipation. Unfortunately, this strategy game takes the exact opposite approach: it’s all about building up your own Mafia empire through extortion, theft and even assassination. The aim is to collect as much money as you can in order to acquire more weapons, build up your ‘hood’ and attack rival Mafiosi.

You may question how I can play this game as a Christian. But first of all, it is just that: a game. I’m not about to put out a hit on someone for robbing my launderette. Furthermore, there are some hidden biblical principles to pick out (if you look closely enough!).

Firstly, it’s teaching me the gift of patience; something I’m not known for. Each task requires a certain ‘cost’: either to energy levels, stamina or your stash. If you don’t have the necessary items, you simply can’t move onto the next task. Sometimes it can take days and even weeks to get the job done. We often have to wait for things in real life, and practising patience shows that we trust God’s timing, omnipotence and love (2 Corinthians 6:6).

Secondly, it proves that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8). Building defensive buildings and upgrading cash-generating establishments can seem fruitless, but this type of investment often proves crucial further down the line. This is often the case in life – we think a job/degree/relationship has been a complete waste of time, only to find it has laid the groundwork for something wonderful a few years later.

Thirdly, it has shown me the importance of equipping myself for battle. Okay, so I’m not sure we need to be carrying assault rifles or riot shields around with us, but the Bible tells us to “put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:11). This includes: the belt of truth; the breastplate of righteousness; the shield of faith; the helmet of salvation; and the sword of the Spirit (the Word of God). These ‘weapons’ strengthen us and protect us from adversity.

Fourthly, it demonstrates that certain tasks/challenges need to be completed before we can move onto the next. In the game this might mean robbing a bank or planting a tracking device, but in our lives it could mean forgiving someone who has offended us; learning from a mistake we keep making; disciplining ourselves to read the Bible when we don’t feel like it; or sharing our faith with someone. There are things in each of our lives that hold us back and prevent us from reaching the next level.

Finally, it reminds us to take what is rightfully ours. In the game you periodically collect money from the businesses you’ve set up – if you don’t, the cash stops building up and rivals can steal it. The Bible says God has given us “everything we need to live a godly life” (2 Peter 1:3), so if there’s something missing, it’s probably because we haven’t tapped into it yet. If you don’t use it, you may lose it!

OK, so I’m going to stop flogging this dead horse now (that’s not part of the game!) as it would be just as easy to turn the analogy round to show how Crime City promotes greed, violence and many other Mafia malignancies. Just remember, this kind of game can be a fun way to spend an hour or two but crime really doesn’t pay!

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti.

What’s in a word?

The beautiful Mary Alessi

I’ve always been a bit of a word geek; in fact a perfect evening for me would be a Scrabblathon with a hefty serving of chocolate on the side…

But what fascinates me most is the way we may think we understand a word for decades and then realise it might actually mean the complete opposite.

One example of this is the word “shadow” or, more specifically, “overshadow”. These words have always spoken of darkness, danger and domination to me.

And I believed the Bible backed up this view:

• 1 Chronicles 29:15b and Job 8:9: “Our days on earth are like a shadow, without hope.”
• Psalm 11:2: “The wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart.”
• Isaiah 59:9b: “We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows.
• Psalm 23:4 speaks of “the valley of the shadow of death”, while Job 16:16 talks about “dark shadows” around the afflicted man’s eyes and James 1:17 says that God is not changeable like “shifting shadows”.

So shadows are bad, right?

Well actually, I was overwhelmed by the number of positive references I found:

• Isaiah 32:2: “Each one will be like a shelter from the wind and a refuge from the storm, like streams of water in the desert and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land.” Isaiah makes several references to being hidden/covered in the shadow of God’s hand.
• Acts 5:15: “As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by.”
• And of course there are many references to being hidden in the shadow of God’s wings in Psalms.

Okay, so “shadow” is a little hazy (excuse the pun), but “overshadow” can’t possibly be positive – can it? This is how the dictionary defines it: “To cast a shadow over; darken or obscure” and “to make insignificant by comparison; dominate”. Case closed, then.

Well, that’s not the way the Bible uses the word. American songwriter and worship leader Mary Alessi points out that the two key instances of the word – just prior to Jesus’ conception and at His transfiguration – are incredibly positive:

• Luke 1:35: “The angel replied [to Mary]: ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God.’”
• Mark 9:7: “And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, ‘This is my beloved Son: hear him.’”

 I also found the following great usages of the word, and I’m sure there are others (please feel free to add these in the comments below):

• 1 Kings 8:7: “The cherubim spread their wings over the place of the ark and overshadowed the ark and its carrying poles.”
• Ezekiel 31:3: “Consider Assyria, once a cedar in Lebanon, with beautiful branches overshadowing the forest; it towered on high, its top above the thick foliage.”

As Mary Alessi explains, it is the source of the shadow that makes the difference. If our ‘source’ is in or of the world, we are likely to end up feeling insignificant and defeated when we are overshadowed. But God’s overshadowing represents his presence, his protection and the pleasure he takes in our growth and success.

  

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

You, me and debris

Photo credit: Michelle Arseneault/Wikipedia

When I’m not writing for Liberti magazine, I spend a lot of my time mustering up financial news and blogs. I often find myself compiling helpful money-saving guides; well, at least, I hope they’re helpful.

Although these often relate to switching bank accounts or getting the right type of life insurance, a common theme throughout is cutting back on waste. There are so many ways to squander money and resources, and even though I should know better, I’m probably the worst culprit of all!

So here are my three Cs to help us keep on top of our waste, both financial and otherwise (in ascending order of importance).

Cancel old Direct Debits

Statistics show 40% of Direct Debit customers don't know how much cash leaves their account via Direct Debit each month. Many of us have experienced that painful pang when we realise a payment we should have cancelled months ago is still coming out. With online banking available to all of us, it’s our responsibility to know exactly what’s coming into and leaving our accounts. Staying on top of this will also help to ensure your account isn’t being used fraudulently.

Cut energy costs

UK households throw £1.4 billion down the drain each year simply by wasting energy. There are so many ways to cut back on energy usage without even noticing the difference. Did you know that using energy-saving light bulbs could save you up to £40 during the life of the bulb? And that turning your thermostat down by just 1% could save you 10% on your annual heating bill?

Other simple energy-saving measures include:

• Turning electrical appliances off rather than leaving them on standby
• Confining heating to the rooms you spend most time in
• Only boiling as much water as you need each time you make a hot drink
• Taking showers rather than baths
• Turning the temperature on your washing machine down to 30^oC

Control your buying habits

I personally feel a sense of achievement every time I put something in the recycling; particularly if I’ve gone to the trouble of rinsing or dismembering it in some way. Don’t panic, I’m not going to tell you to stop recycling or reusing items, but I am going to suggest an even better solution: not buying as much in the first place.

I was brought up to clean my plate each and every mealtime; my brother and I were well aware that there would be no pudding until we’d finished our dinner. Although I still do this as much as possible now, I continue to find myself throwing some food away every week. When will I learn that I’m not going to get through a kilo of grapes in a week? Why do I still fall for the multi-buy offers when I know it’s both false economy and wasteful?

And my wastefulness isn’t limited to food consumption. Each time I move house I promise myself I’ll never, ever accumulate so much ‘stuff’ again. But after two years in my current flat I once again find myself climbing over or banging into obstacles and items I simply don’t need: a foot spa, redundant mobile phone chargers and a host of old CDs I’ve never even listened to.

Every now and again I round up all the rubble and have a major cull. There’s no better feeling in the world than turning overflowing cupboards and full-to-the-brim drawers into minimalist vessels of essential goodies. Again I feel that warm fuzzy feeling as I traipse off to the charity shop to kindly bestow my discarded debris upon them.

But as with our financial affairs, the simplest and best approach is to only buy what we need in the first place. Don’t take out credit cards that will encourage you to get into debt and buy even more space hoggers. Don’t buy new versions of items you already have unless you are prepared to redeploy the originals. And definitely don’t buy presents for people this Christmas that will encourage them to follow you into the never-ending wilderness of waste!

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

Mirror image

Photo credit: MabMeddowsMercury

I’ve been thinking about mirrors a lot lately. That probably sounds pretty vain, but there are several reasons why the looking glass has become a recurring theme for me in recent weeks.

I can’t deny the fact that I’ve been spending some time standing in front of every mirror in my flat recently. Am I that good looking? I hear you ask. Well, no. The fact is, I just can’t stop checking out the ever-expanding abscess in my throat. It probably sounds a bit sinister, but I have to keep looking at it so I can figure out how this red lump of puss inside my mouth has completely taken over my life.

You think I’m exaggerating, but I can’t eat, sleep, talk, drink or swallow. At one point I stopped breathing and had to go to A&E. But although it’s excruciating and hideous-looking, I’m utterly fascinated by it. Maybe deep down I think that if I look at it long enough I’ll suss out how to regain the upper hand.

Mirrors cropped up again when I read a BBC news story about a new piece of technology that promises to revolutionise the way we shop. Basically, it’s a virtual mirror that takes a picture of you and then allows you to virtually ‘try on’ dozens of outfits in a matter of minutes.

No more taking 17 items into the changing room to find you can only try three at a time. No more pulling clothes on and off hangers and working up more of a sweat than you would on the treadmill! You’ll be able to try stuff you’d never normally consider and you can even send the images to your friends to get their feedback.

Having said this, the technology probably won’t become mainstream for some time, and it could end up breaking the bank with so many combinations at our fingertips. Most importantly, it’s bound to attract cubicles full of teenage girls sending pictures of themselves to everyone they know.

The next mirror element sprang to mind during the trial of Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson’s now infamous doctor. Although I didn’t really follow the case, I couldn’t avoid the influx of jokes about how “bad” Murray was, and what a “smooth criminal” he had been.

With mirrors already on my mind, I started reflecting (excuse the pun) on one of my favourite Jackson songs; no prizes for guessing which one. I realised I’d sung along to it hundreds of times without really thinking about the significance of the words.

I'm starting with the man in
the mirror,
I'm asking him to change
his ways.
And no message could have
been any clearer:
If you wanna make the world
a better place,
Take a look at yourself, and
then make a change.

Whatever you think about the king of pop himself, these are powerful words. It seems Michael spent his life struggling with ‘mirror fever’, consumed by self-image, narcissism and self-hatred.

I’ve stood in front of the mirror countless times and hated my reflection. But I’ve also been pleasantly surprised at by the way I looked on some occasions. I don’t like to admit it, but the way I look has a profound effect on my mood in the same way that my mood has the power to change the way I see myself.

“Man in the Mirror” asks us to examine not only our external blemishes, but our internal ones; to correct our own behaviours before setting the world to rights. This reminded me of a well-known Bible quotation:

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:4-5). I think this is the same point Jacko was making.

Then a Bible verse specifically about mirrors sprang to mind: “Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like” (James 1:23-24).

This is a call for us to act on what we read in the Bible rather than just sticking it back on the shelf. If you look in the mirror and feel confident about your appearance, but immediately forget what you saw when you leave the house, you’ll lose that confidence and look for it in other places. The Bible makes so much sense!

Anyway, you’re probably fed up with mirror analogies by now, so I’m off to check out my angry abscess once again. And maybe while I’m standing in front of the glass, I’ll be asking Him to change my ways. 

Read more from Joy in the upcoming edition of Liberti magazine.