Fantasy versus reality

Working from home certainly has its perks. One of the greatest, in my opinion, is the option to watch cheesy Christmas films as I tap away on my laptop. Needless to say, Christmas 24 has been on every day for the last month or so in the Tibbs household; I just can’t get enough of it.

Having watched most of the films now (some of them twice), I’m beginning to notice a certain pattern. At the start, a child is let down by his or her parents and/or Santa and grows up to be a grumpy, workaholic scrooge. He or she has no time for love or adventure and very often neglects his/her own kids as a result.

But just when you’re starting to give up all hope, some magical intervention occurs, Santa is proven to be real (as if we ever doubted it) and, more often than not, a happy-ever-after love story ensues.

I’m not knocking this formula; it works a treat. In fact, I can almost predict to the minute when I will be reduced to tears, the moments where I will have to watch through my fingers because the cringe factor is so high, and the moment when I will need to clear my throat for the final carol-singing scene.

But in many ways, this repeated narrative reflects real life. Many children are scarred by the actions of a parent or someone in authority who has hurt them or let them down. They carry this pain through their lives and into new relationships, eventually passing it onto their children.

Others embrace the idea of God during childhood, seeing Him as a magical, Santa-like being who gives us all the things we want and meets all of our needs. But by the time we reach double figures we have rejected Him because – like Santa – we feel we have outgrown Him… and that He isn’t all He’s cracked up to be anyway.

As we approach Christmas, I hope we’re all excited about the parties, presents and delicious food. But I also hope it’s a time where we can rebuild relationships that have broken down and spend quality time with the people we love.

My greatest hope, though, is that we can focus on the relationship we have with God. At this time of year we remember that He sent His only Son to earth to live among us, and ultimately to die in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. 

Unlike Santa, who only pops up once a year, God will walk with us every day of our lives if we are just prepared to take the first step. And, unlike Santa, if you ask Him to prove that He’s real, He’ll actually do it. 

He is the very epitome of happily ever after love without the Hollywood cheese factor.

Anyway, it’s almost time for Annie Claus is Coming to Town, so I’ll bid you adieu. Or perhaps Merry Christmas would be more appropriate!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine - out soon!

Matrimony or mate-ri-money… the choice is yours

Most of us are aware there are certain savings to be made if you’re married. While money may not buy you love, there is evidence to suggest a bit of romance could help to protect your pocket.

So should all singles be launching themselves into relationships in a bid to save a few pennies? Well perhaps not…

There are three important words to add to your vocabulary if you’re (young) free and single: MOSHing, mate-ri-money and FLAPers. MOSH stands for multiple occupant shared home and it happens when first-time buyers get together with other single friends to collectively buy a property.

Research from Future Poll indicates that 59% of singles who don't own a property say that doing so would greatly improve their quality of life and 30% have several friends they would consider buying a property with. According to the Government Office for Science, single-person households are projected to increase by 163,000 per year from 6.8 million in 2006 to 10.9 million in 2031.

The report also identified a new demographic in the UK described as FLAPers (financially liberated and positively single). Gone are the days of feeling left on the shelf; instead, people in the UK are looking for ways to live independently without ending up out of pocket. Those who see marriage as old-fashioned and unnecessary, for example, really seem to be embracing this new ‘financial friendship’ concept.

Future Poll found that 80% of singles believe friendships last longer than romantic relationships and more than one in four single people would go to their friends first if they needed money urgently.

But what if you’re already married? Well, there’s no need to call in a divorce lawyer! Being in a committed relationship can definitely save you money.

In general, couples are seen to be safer prospects for insurers – particularly car insurance companies – than their single counterparts. According to the Towers Watson Car Insurance Price Index.

Although this is set to change when new gender equality legislation takes effect in December, the average annual comprehensive car insurance policy currently costs £954 for a male driver, typically falling by £502 when a spouse is added. Deep down we all knew women were better drivers!

If that doesn’t send you rushing down the aisle, a new study from NS&I might just tip the balance. Its latest Savings Survey suggests Brits who are in a relationship save around £800 more each year than singletons. A fifth save at least £200 more per month; more than £2,400 over the course of a year. 

Relationships have the biggest effect on men's finances, with men saving an average of £85 more each month under their partner's influence compared with a £50 increase for women. Young men (aged 25-34) are most influenced by their partners, saving around £100 more. As many as 15% of women in relationships admit to being motivated to save more due to their partner's bad financial habits compared with 11% of men. 

John Prout, NS&I director, comments: "It is good to see that people in relationships are motivating one another to save significant sums of money. As well as helping each other save towards goals and providing more security in difficult times, these savings will make a difference for the bigger financial milestones that come during a relationship, like buying a home, or saving for life in retirement." 

Overall, the research seems to suggest that two heads (or wallets) are better than one; whether you decide to put a ring on it or not.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.