Creating Space

I went to a ‘gathering’ last weekend. Organised by Spring Harvest and Sophia Network it was a meeting up of women from all kinds of backgrounds who want to see women released to be all that they were created to be. I took along two of my own little women who, as they played on the iPad and read Little House on the Prairie quietly in the corner, got to hear women talking about how we could help little girls, just like them and maybe older, to dream big dreams and fly.


There's been something buzzing around my head since I left:  We talked about making space for people, thought about how we can make sure that we don’t get so protective of our own positions that we don’t empower other women. We faced up to the fact that it can be hard to step aside and allow room for competition and were tasked with thinking in groups about how we can create pathways for those who come after us.



It was a crucial thing to discuss but, in my group it became apparent that some felt a constant tension in their life at work. Not knowing how to create space or whether they should step down from their role or go part time so someone else gets a chance. It’s been going round in my brain since.


I think it's really important to recognise potential in people and encourage it, to mentor that person and help them take opportunities, to make sure that we don't do things out of selfish ambition BUT I don't think that means everyone has to fall on their sword after a couple of years and retire early or change jobs so that other people get the chance.


I think that the whole thing about church - if that's what we're talking about - should be about creating new space - our aim, to coin a phrase, is expansion. That should need more leaders, not just a quick turn around.


I think that in all our talk about not being selfish with our space - which is totally correct - we must be careful we don't end up feeling guilty that we have a space in the first place. Jesus handed over his task to the disciples at 33 because he had finished. At 33 most of us are just starting. And he handed over to 12, not just because they weren't actually the son of God and it would take 12 of them to do what he did but because they had to go to the ends of the earth. They led until they died, but they appointed and annointed new leaders (male and female) as they grew the church. They created space through evangelism and the simple need for more leaders. 


So I think creating space is about creating vision - saying - what Tearfund, Spring Harvest, Schoolswork etc do is great, lets do more. Leading churches is great - lets start new ones, speaking on a platform is important - go to the ends of the earth and speak to people who have never heard the news before. It’s about seeing our role, not as the destination but as the springboard for new projects with new people. 

The crucial thing is enabling women to dare to have vision in the first place and the courage to see it through. We still have to challenge bad theology and traditions and I personally think quotas have a place, but throughout history, bold women have gone and done the things men told them they couldn't and they have done them so well people noticed.

As a brethren girl myself, I was struck by how many women in the room yesterday were from the same background - who had grown up being told they couldn't but who did it anyway. Let's raise a generation of bold women with big dreams and empower them to turn those dreams into reality.

What do you go to church for?

I had lunch with a close friend this week and the conversation somehow wound its way round to church.

She’s taken a break from it for the last few years but is thinking about going back. There’s one thing stopping her though: she feels like a hypocrite.

She explained that she wouldn’t be going to turn back to God, but for the sense of community church life brings. Coming from a family where the door is always open to friends, she misses the social aspect and the values it teaches. But she feels a bit uncomfortable about the praise and worship side of things. And while her husband supports her in everything she does, he is worried church members will make her split up with him if she starts going.

I personally think she’d get a lot out of church, both from a social and a spiritual point of view, and it’s probably her own reticence that will act as the biggest obstacle to her enjoyment of church itself. I’m also 100% sure no-one would try to split up her marriage – it’s a God-ordained institution (and he’s lovely!).

Anyway, my problem with church is the complete opposite. It’s only when I’m worshipping God that I feel completely free. It’s the social side of things that I struggle with. I’ve been known to sneak in as the first song starts, sit alone at the back and sneak out as the invitation for tea and coffee goes out.

I’m horrible at small talk and blush embarrassingly when I feel awkward. I’m also bad at recognising people I’ve spoken to before, so I’m always wary of asking questions I should already know the answer to! What if someone asks me something and I don’t give a holy enough answer? What if they invite me to something when there’s football on?!

I have been working on this, and the friendship groups I’ve built up in various churches over the years have been incredible. But I still get incredibly nervous when I go to a church where I don’t know anyone.

Like last week…

I made it inside through a maze of doors and was confronted by a host of indistinguishable older ladies: similar shape, hairstyle, fashion sense, glasses. They were invariably named Phyllis, Ann, Joyce and Edna and were all immensely friendly (one even invited me to lunch after the service… but there was football on).

The service itself was fine, although there were a few awkward moments. Phyllis/Ann/Joyce/Edna did an exercise with the kids involving a map cut into pieces and ‘hidden’ around the room. This went horribly wrong when one little boy grabbed a pile and refused to bring them to the front. (Hilarious.)

Then we were split into small groups to pray for the church’s missionaries, something I’m used to, but is still a bit awkward if you’re a visitor. The mood was significantly lightened when another little boy broke free of his parents and started attacking the piano (and our ear drums). Stevie Wonder he was not.

Finally, a guest speaker approached the microphone. Now I’m not saying middle-aged, leather-jacket-wearing Cockneys can’t be good preachers… but this guy wasn’t. Moments of greatness were interspersed with loud and repetitive cries for us to “get desperate for Jesus”. And I’m pretty sure he offended some of the Anns and Ednas when he said he wanted to see some “life back in this place”.

I resisted the urge to run away immediately after the service – in fact I spoke to another Joy and a young couple, all of whom were lovely. But it’s still the social side of church that I struggle with the most.

Whatever it is that puts us off, though, there are so many advantages to church. We get to worship our Heavenly Father. We develop relationships that are more like family than some of our own families. And we can then collectively take the love of God into our communities; representing Jesus to those who would rather stick pins in their eyes than go to church.

Every church has imperfections, and many of us find aspects of church difficult. But after 29 years of going, I’m convinced the pros far outweigh the cons.

I’m definitely looking forward to being back at my own church this Sunday, though!

How to be an employee and a Christian at the same time

There has been endless debate about the separation of church and state, and it seems the dispute is spilling over into the workplace with increasing velocity.

Recent news reports have highlighted the general view that work is work, and faith is faith; that the two things must be mutually exclusive.

Whether that means not wearing a cross to work, or cutting out prayer before council meetings, it seems the workplace is gradually being deChristianised. (If that’s not a word it soon will be!)

The question that arises then is, should I carry on working as a closet Christian or give up my faith and just get on with my job? Well neither, obviously. But I do think it’s important that we live out what we believe carefully and without compromising who we are in Christ.

It’s hard to strike a balance between fitting in, getting the job done and being a super Christian. If you’ve managed it, please let me know the secret! But I personally believe it’s impossible (and undesirable) to leave our faith at home when we head into work. Faith isn't like a hat that you can choose to put on if there's a storm brewing (literal or metaphorical); it's on the inside of you... whether you like it or not!

Telling someone to stop being a Christian at work is like asking someone to separate themselves from their nationality/political beliefs/deep love of cheese. Being a Christian isn’t what we do on Sundays, it is who we are, and it informs (or at least it should inform) everything we do. I’m a Christian when I go to watch Liverpool play, when I’m having lunch with a friend or when I’m up to my neck in proofreading.

So should we be quoting the Bible every time a colleague asks us a question, or offering to lay hands on our colleagues at their first sniffle? I wouldn’t recommend it. 

I personally think it’s usually the small things that set us apart, like:
  

•  Being absolutely honest, even if it means we get into trouble or lose money as a result
• Taking a genuine interest in our workmates and praying for them – especially the difficult ones (you know who I’m talking about)
• Showing respect for the boss even if he or she is wrong/being unreasonable
• Refusing to engage in gossip (even if you really want to know what Delia said to Chelsea at the staff do)
• Inviting our colleagues to social events and building lasting relationships with them
• Forgiving people rather than bearing grudges
• Standing up for the things that are really important
• Respecting people of other faiths or no faith and welcoming open discussion about what you believe and why
• Maintaining a positive attitude. No one likes a grump!
• Having cake/chocolate/cookies on hand at all times

None of this is groundbreaking stuff, and you probably do these things without even thinking about it. But while wearing a cross might suggest you are a Christian (although to be fair every self-respecting gangsta rapper does this), living an upright, gracious life every day will prove that you are.

The best piece of advice I’ve been given when it comes to living out my faith at work is to start the morning with prayer and continue in this attitude throughout the day. It’s hard to get offended/offend others if we approach work with the same heart of humility and thankfulness with which we approach God.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.