It’s
called Boundaries, and its aim is to help people take ownership of their own
actions. One of the first principles of this practical and thought-provoking course
is learning how to say “NO!” to things. This in itself is a revolutionary concept
to me!
I thought I’d share a bit of it with you to get you thinking
about where the boundaries lie in your own life. I’m sure we could all do with ‘fixing
up the fences’ around our ‘properties’ (bodies, minds and hearts) and making
sure we protect ourselves from the many people and things that want to invade
our space each day. So here are some of the basic principles…
A boundary is a personal property line defining where a
property begins and ends. We are called to set physical, emotional and
spiritual boundaries; distinguishing what belongs to us and what we are responsible
for (Galatians 6:5-8). Establishing boundaries is about setting limits that protect
us from harm, maintain order and help us to not to “stray” from (violate the
boundaries of) God’s commands (Psalm 119:20-24).
God introduced boundaries right from creation (darkness/light,
land/sea) and gave Adam and Eve clear boundaries (rules and responsibilities)
in the Garden of Eden. Jesus had boundaries: He only ever did what the Father
had instructed Him to do (John 5:19) and He often introduced physical
boundaries between Himself and others when He withdrew to pray. Jesus says: “I
stand at the door, and knock” (Revelation 3:20). He never invades our space
without permission.
Boundaries define what we are personally responsible for and
help us fulfil our God-given purpose. They also allow us to say no to things
without feeling guilty. They prevent us from having our property (time/values/relationships)
invaded or corrupted (2 Peter 1:2-4). They enable us to guard our hearts, minds
and bodies (1 Peter 1:13), which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians
6:19). Failure to protect and maintain our boundaries can lead to sin and the
consequences of this sin.
Boundaries give us control and true freedom (John 8:32).
They allow us to choose how to respond to provocation and offence. Effective
boundaries help us to remain sin (“trespass”) free, which means we don’t hurt
others or encroach on their property. Boundaries guard our “treasure” but allow
us to live in communion with God and others, giving us the freedom to choose
life or death (Deuteronomy 30:16-19; Romans 8:13). Ultimately, boundaries help
us to become more Christlike.
If you are continually saying “yes” to people, when really
you mean “no” or “maybe”, or you allow people to walk all over your life rules
and values, I’d encourage you to take a Boundaries course or to read Boundaries
by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. The principles are simple and it’s
surprisingly liberating.
Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti
magazine.
