What do you go to church for?

I had lunch with a close friend this week and the conversation somehow wound its way round to church.

She’s taken a break from it for the last few years but is thinking about going back. There’s one thing stopping her though: she feels like a hypocrite.

She explained that she wouldn’t be going to turn back to God, but for the sense of community church life brings. Coming from a family where the door is always open to friends, she misses the social aspect and the values it teaches. But she feels a bit uncomfortable about the praise and worship side of things. And while her husband supports her in everything she does, he is worried church members will make her split up with him if she starts going.

I personally think she’d get a lot out of church, both from a social and a spiritual point of view, and it’s probably her own reticence that will act as the biggest obstacle to her enjoyment of church itself. I’m also 100% sure no-one would try to split up her marriage – it’s a God-ordained institution (and he’s lovely!).

Anyway, my problem with church is the complete opposite. It’s only when I’m worshipping God that I feel completely free. It’s the social side of things that I struggle with. I’ve been known to sneak in as the first song starts, sit alone at the back and sneak out as the invitation for tea and coffee goes out.

I’m horrible at small talk and blush embarrassingly when I feel awkward. I’m also bad at recognising people I’ve spoken to before, so I’m always wary of asking questions I should already know the answer to! What if someone asks me something and I don’t give a holy enough answer? What if they invite me to something when there’s football on?!

I have been working on this, and the friendship groups I’ve built up in various churches over the years have been incredible. But I still get incredibly nervous when I go to a church where I don’t know anyone.

Like last week…

I made it inside through a maze of doors and was confronted by a host of indistinguishable older ladies: similar shape, hairstyle, fashion sense, glasses. They were invariably named Phyllis, Ann, Joyce and Edna and were all immensely friendly (one even invited me to lunch after the service… but there was football on).

The service itself was fine, although there were a few awkward moments. Phyllis/Ann/Joyce/Edna did an exercise with the kids involving a map cut into pieces and ‘hidden’ around the room. This went horribly wrong when one little boy grabbed a pile and refused to bring them to the front. (Hilarious.)

Then we were split into small groups to pray for the church’s missionaries, something I’m used to, but is still a bit awkward if you’re a visitor. The mood was significantly lightened when another little boy broke free of his parents and started attacking the piano (and our ear drums). Stevie Wonder he was not.

Finally, a guest speaker approached the microphone. Now I’m not saying middle-aged, leather-jacket-wearing Cockneys can’t be good preachers… but this guy wasn’t. Moments of greatness were interspersed with loud and repetitive cries for us to “get desperate for Jesus”. And I’m pretty sure he offended some of the Anns and Ednas when he said he wanted to see some “life back in this place”.

I resisted the urge to run away immediately after the service – in fact I spoke to another Joy and a young couple, all of whom were lovely. But it’s still the social side of church that I struggle with the most.

Whatever it is that puts us off, though, there are so many advantages to church. We get to worship our Heavenly Father. We develop relationships that are more like family than some of our own families. And we can then collectively take the love of God into our communities; representing Jesus to those who would rather stick pins in their eyes than go to church.

Every church has imperfections, and many of us find aspects of church difficult. But after 29 years of going, I’m convinced the pros far outweigh the cons.

I’m definitely looking forward to being back at my own church this Sunday, though!

The Christian camps that are “brainwashing” our kids

Soul Survivor 2011 courtesy of River Methodist Church

As a regular Guardian reader, I was surprised to see an article called “Christian teen camps are wicked, innit” (August 2011) on the paper’s website.

Although cleverly written, this piece reveals Thomas Prosser’s ignorance and prejudice, and is typical of our generation’s tolerance for anything apart from Christian values.

The general gist of the article is that Christian camp organisers are using teen lingo and exploitative techniques to brainwash kids into believing the (clearly nonsensical) views that millions of people around the world hold.

I went to Christian camps every summer as a teenager and they were the highlight of my year. I made a lifelong friend the very first year and we met up at camp each year after that for about six years. We’re still in touch now.

There were no secret agendas about these camps: they were advertised as Christian camps and I wasn’t surprised to find there was some mention of Christianity when I got there. If you went to a pop concert and ended up watching a strip show, you’d be a little surprised to say the least (or perhaps not so much these days).

Prosser describes Soul Survivor sermons as “wild orations that aim to wear down the resistance of the audience to the message”. He claims: “Videos designed to whip up the emotional temperature of the audience are shown, and fervid calls for youngsters to accept Christ are made.” He adds that “hypnotic music typically sounds out in subdued lighting as youngsters are urged to come to the front and give their lives to Christ”.

I’m pretty sure Prosser’s never actually been to the camp. What makes the music “hypnotic”? Is there anything inherently evil about rooms with dimmed lighting? Should we stop our kids from watching videos that have an emotional impact on them and force them to watch reality TV drivel instead?

I found it deeply ironic that the article – deriding the underlying “manipulation” of Christian “yoof lingo” – used such overtly anti-Christian language. Was this Prosser’s ploy to “brainwash” Guardian readers into rejecting Bible teachings? Let’s just hope his audience is more discerning than he thinks our youngsters are.

Prosser continues by saying: “None of any of this is fair to teens: young people have a right to choose their religious beliefs without being subjected to strategies that emotionally exploit them.”

Do you know many teens who agree to do things they don’t want to do? Isn’t he patronising and undermining the intelligence of our youngsters, who have probably given the issues considerable thought before making a decision one way or the other. That was certainly my experience.

I fundamentally disagree with Prosser’s assertion that “giving one's heart to Christ can alas be done in a fit of absence of mind”. How could he possibly know that? I agree that it can be a spontaneous decision, but becoming a Christian isn’t just about saying “pledging allegiance to Christ” at a specific moment; it’s about deciding whether to follow Him for the rest of your life. This choice is theirs long after the camp ends.

The article stipulates that “Christianity's most controversial doctrines are given a full airing at the camps”. This is probably true. We discussed a huge range of topics including human suffering, racism, evolution, who Jesus was, sex before marriage, the gifts of the Holy Spirit, physical healing… You name it, we talked about it.

But these discussions were open, interactive debates and questions/challenges to doctrine were actively encouraged. It gave us the opportunity to talk about things we might have been afraid to talk about with our parents or friends. And backed up with Bible teachings, the “wickedness” of these principles should probably be taken up with God himself.

Finally, while a lot of my friends were trying out drugs, sleeping around and messing about with Ouija boards, I was learning to jet ski, having a go at archery and horseriding, playing outdoor games, having gala dinners, taking part in music, craft and drama workshops, and most of all, having a LOT of fun.

I scrolled down to read the comments below the article, and sadly, the majority of respondents agreed with Prosser’s bigoted generalisations. “Most sensible people realise that religion is a crock of shit when they hit puberty,” says one. “Anyone uncool enough to sign up for such an embarrassing dickwit fest deserves all they get,” says another.

It’s a shame Christianity is seen by many as something that only the gullible, educationally subnormal and under-10s could possibly take seriously. Would these people have the guts to say the same about Islam or Judaism?

One that made me laugh, though, said: “The thuggery of those Christians over the past few days as they've been rioting, torching buildings, looting and mugging has been beyond contempt. My comment is of course not serious, Thomas Prosser, because I guess your article is not serious.”

I’ll leave Liberti editor Bekah Legg to have the last word on this as she has actually been to the festival and has therefore earned the right to comment.

“I went quite cautious, if I'm honest, but have been thoroughly impressed by all they do,” she says. “I take a group of about 60 kids and watch them grow before my eyes.

“It's an opportunity for them to hear great teaching, participate in great worship, encounter the Holy Spirit in a safe environment where there is no pressure or manipulation and above all I think it is just amazing to be part of a group of 10,000 people and realise that there are a lot more Christians out there.

“I've seen a lot of kids’ lives turned around.”

I don’t have children (yet) but when I do, I think I’ll run the risk of them encountering darkened rooms and "hypnotic" music than allowing them to do the things most teenagers are doing these days. Ok, rant over!

Danniella Westbrook chooses God over Gucci

Photo credit: BBC

You often hear American actresses mentioning God, but I was surprised to hear former EastEnder Danniella Westbrook talking about her new-found faith.

The actress, who is sadly better known for her nose-destroying coke habit than her acting skills, has turned her back on the drug that cost her £250,000 and almost killed her.

And, while Gucci and Prada used to be her only ‘gods’, Danniella says she is now a born-again Christian. “If you had told me two years ago that I was going to be Christian, I would have laughed. I used to tell people, ‘I’m way past saving’,” she claims.

Her mind was changed after a visit to the Sanctuary Church in California; a church pastored by former drug addict Jay Haizlip.

During her first visit two years ago, she recalls feeling “something so spiritual and amazing” that she felt like crying. “After a few visits I found myself walking up to the altar to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my sins,” she explains.

Danniella’s previous experience of church was being told 'thou shalt not do this', at which point she would start thinking about what she needed in Tesco! But she was overwhelmed by the fact people at the Sanctuary were so alive – and that they were there of their own volition. “The worship started and I thought it was amazing,” she says.

"Being English, I wanted to get up and dance but I was too embarrassed. I didn't know God; I didn't have a relationship with God. Jay started preaching and it was like he was speaking right at us.”

The former Dancing On Ice contestant has now been clean for ten years and she, Kevin and their two children regularly attend the church, where Katy Perry’s parents have been known to preach. And when they’re not at church, they often pray and read the Bible together.

“People are so cynical about religion in the UK. Before I came to the States, I had never seen a church like this. Here, people don’t just pray – they call out to God and sing and cry.

“People tell us, ‘Oh no, you’re in the God squad now.’ But they don’t get it. I have no interest in being famous any more unless it can help me to spread God’s word. I really think I have been put in this position to help people.

“God speaks to me in so many ways. I talk to him and it is definitely a two-way conversation.”

Although she hasn’t ruled out another return to EastEnders in the future, she has certainly turned her back on the shallow life she was living.

The actress is now looking to return to the UK to share her new ­beliefs in a nation that seems to have forgotten about God.

“I feel that me working on EastEnders and becoming a Christian might be God’s way of leading people to the Lord,” she reveals.

Her priorities are very different now. “Fame and celebrity are false idols, says Danniella. “Too many people today worship at the altar of celebrity but there is a spiritual vacuum inside them. That hole can only be filled by God.

“Fame and money mean nothing without a solid spiritual foundation. I know because I had everything, and it meant nothing. I realise some people will be shocked by how much my life has changed, but I've never been more serious about anything in my life. The most important thing in my life now is family and God.

“I truly believe God has saved my life and I want to bring the message back to England and open a church there. The whole point about this church is that it is fun. There is no reason why religion has to be boring. I believe there is a gap in the UK and we can fill that gap.”

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine or in Christian men’s mag Sorted.