Fantasy versus reality

Working from home certainly has its perks. One of the greatest, in my opinion, is the option to watch cheesy Christmas films as I tap away on my laptop. Needless to say, Christmas 24 has been on every day for the last month or so in the Tibbs household; I just can’t get enough of it.

Having watched most of the films now (some of them twice), I’m beginning to notice a certain pattern. At the start, a child is let down by his or her parents and/or Santa and grows up to be a grumpy, workaholic scrooge. He or she has no time for love or adventure and very often neglects his/her own kids as a result.

But just when you’re starting to give up all hope, some magical intervention occurs, Santa is proven to be real (as if we ever doubted it) and, more often than not, a happy-ever-after love story ensues.

I’m not knocking this formula; it works a treat. In fact, I can almost predict to the minute when I will be reduced to tears, the moments where I will have to watch through my fingers because the cringe factor is so high, and the moment when I will need to clear my throat for the final carol-singing scene.

But in many ways, this repeated narrative reflects real life. Many children are scarred by the actions of a parent or someone in authority who has hurt them or let them down. They carry this pain through their lives and into new relationships, eventually passing it onto their children.

Others embrace the idea of God during childhood, seeing Him as a magical, Santa-like being who gives us all the things we want and meets all of our needs. But by the time we reach double figures we have rejected Him because – like Santa – we feel we have outgrown Him… and that He isn’t all He’s cracked up to be anyway.

As we approach Christmas, I hope we’re all excited about the parties, presents and delicious food. But I also hope it’s a time where we can rebuild relationships that have broken down and spend quality time with the people we love.

My greatest hope, though, is that we can focus on the relationship we have with God. At this time of year we remember that He sent His only Son to earth to live among us, and ultimately to die in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. 

Unlike Santa, who only pops up once a year, God will walk with us every day of our lives if we are just prepared to take the first step. And, unlike Santa, if you ask Him to prove that He’s real, He’ll actually do it. 

He is the very epitome of happily ever after love without the Hollywood cheese factor.

Anyway, it’s almost time for Annie Claus is Coming to Town, so I’ll bid you adieu. Or perhaps Merry Christmas would be more appropriate!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine - out soon!

Christmas on a camel

So Christmas in Egypt was a pretty strange experience.

The hotel was absolutely dripping in neon lights; it looked like we’d accidentally ended up in Vegas. Everywhere we turned there were Christmas trees or Santa in his sleigh, and banners wishing us Happy Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, it was awesome waking up to beautiful sunshine every day and having zero washing up to do. There was even a special gala dinner held in a stunning marquee with enough food to feed an army.

But it still wasn’t Christmas – the 25^th could have been any other day of the year. I really missed going to church with my family, opening presents together, sitting down for a traditional dinner and falling asleep on the couch watching Christmas films.

But despite all this, something really great came out of my time in Egypt – I met a little boy who totally changed my life. I’m ashamed to admit this, but when I first saw the group he was with, I found them loud, brash and objectionable.

From the travelling community, I resented the way the children were left to run wild in dirty clothes while the parents got hammered. I even found myself tutting at the kids for their bad behaviour.

It wasn’t until I actually talked to this young chap that my eyes were opened. This five-year-old became my best friend in just a few days. He followed me everywhere, drew me countless pictures and, according to his mum, talked about me non-stop when I wasn’t there.

He was a clever, generous, curious little boy who simply longed for attention. We played cards, we learnt to count together and we talked for hours. I found myself looking for him wherever we went and I have missed him terribly since I got back.

But what surprised me the most was that this child’s mother turned out to be a born-again Christian. I had simply written off the whole group without noticing how different she was from the others. Rather than getting drunk with the adults, she spent most of her time sitting alone, struggling to keep an eye on her three kids.

And she was the one who brought up faith. She asked me what I was reading and if I had ever read the Bible. She then asked me some pretty challenging questions and asked me to pray with her and my new buddy by the pool.

This was a woman who has suffered years of domestic abuse. She clearly loves her children but just isn’t getting the support she needs. She seemed so grateful to have someone to talk to and to take an interest in her little boy.

She aroused in me a sense of righteous indignation: at the people in her life who were letting her down, and at myself for being such a snob. Most of all though, I felt grateful that, in the heart of a Muslim country, God had reached out to me through this woman and her son; that He had both challenged and blessed me at the same time.

I’m going to stay in touch with these two precious people and I hope that next time I’ll be slower to judge and quicker to show God’s love wherever I go and whoever I meet.

Happy New Year folks!

Why I’ll be “walking like an Egyptian” this Christmas

The announcement that my boyfriend and I would be going to Egypt this Christmas raised a few eyebrows. Although they didn’t say it, I knew some people were thinking that it wasn’t a very “Christian” thing to do, as if God’s presence is somehow restricted to the British Isles.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas at home. I love snuggling up by the fire with my family, watching cheesy films I’ve seen a million times before, eating more turkey than can possibly be good for me and exchanging endless gifts. I’ve always ADORED the smell of Christmas dinner, pine needles and mulled wine (although I lost my sense of smell in the summer so this is a thrill I can no longer enjoy…).

But there are several valid reasons for spending Christmas overseas this year.

1. It is Chris’ 30^th birthday and we wanted to do something special to celebrate
2. We normally go to see our respective families (mine in Bristol, his in Derry) at this time of year, but after five years together we actually wanted to spend Christmas together. It would not have gone down at all well with my mum if we’d jilted a Bristol Christmas for a Derry one!
3. We fancy an escape from work; even I can’t do work if my laptop is 2,000 miles away
4. Egypt is WARM!

Anyway, I don’t know why I’m explaining myself. Yes, I will miss going to my own church on Christmas Day. I have certainly not forgotten that Jesus is the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. But Jesus was born a lot closer to Egypt than he was to Bristol or Derry. And he is just as relevant there as he is here. Even though Egypt (shock horror!) is a Muslim country.

We’ll be having our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve this year, but that won’t make me less of a Christian than those sitting down to eat on the 25th. In fact, it might give me the opportunity to have some interesting conversations with people who don’t normally think about Jesus at Christmastime. I’ll certainly be taking his love with me everywhere I go.

Whatever you’re doing this Christmas, I hope you have a fantastic one.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year from everyone at Liberti xxx

You, me and debris

Photo credit: Michelle Arseneault/Wikipedia

When I’m not writing for Liberti magazine, I spend a lot of my time mustering up financial news and blogs. I often find myself compiling helpful money-saving guides; well, at least, I hope they’re helpful.

Although these often relate to switching bank accounts or getting the right type of life insurance, a common theme throughout is cutting back on waste. There are so many ways to squander money and resources, and even though I should know better, I’m probably the worst culprit of all!

So here are my three Cs to help us keep on top of our waste, both financial and otherwise (in ascending order of importance).

Cancel old Direct Debits

Statistics show 40% of Direct Debit customers don't know how much cash leaves their account via Direct Debit each month. Many of us have experienced that painful pang when we realise a payment we should have cancelled months ago is still coming out. With online banking available to all of us, it’s our responsibility to know exactly what’s coming into and leaving our accounts. Staying on top of this will also help to ensure your account isn’t being used fraudulently.

Cut energy costs

UK households throw £1.4 billion down the drain each year simply by wasting energy. There are so many ways to cut back on energy usage without even noticing the difference. Did you know that using energy-saving light bulbs could save you up to £40 during the life of the bulb? And that turning your thermostat down by just 1% could save you 10% on your annual heating bill?

Other simple energy-saving measures include:

• Turning electrical appliances off rather than leaving them on standby
• Confining heating to the rooms you spend most time in
• Only boiling as much water as you need each time you make a hot drink
• Taking showers rather than baths
• Turning the temperature on your washing machine down to 30^oC

Control your buying habits

I personally feel a sense of achievement every time I put something in the recycling; particularly if I’ve gone to the trouble of rinsing or dismembering it in some way. Don’t panic, I’m not going to tell you to stop recycling or reusing items, but I am going to suggest an even better solution: not buying as much in the first place.

I was brought up to clean my plate each and every mealtime; my brother and I were well aware that there would be no pudding until we’d finished our dinner. Although I still do this as much as possible now, I continue to find myself throwing some food away every week. When will I learn that I’m not going to get through a kilo of grapes in a week? Why do I still fall for the multi-buy offers when I know it’s both false economy and wasteful?

And my wastefulness isn’t limited to food consumption. Each time I move house I promise myself I’ll never, ever accumulate so much ‘stuff’ again. But after two years in my current flat I once again find myself climbing over or banging into obstacles and items I simply don’t need: a foot spa, redundant mobile phone chargers and a host of old CDs I’ve never even listened to.

Every now and again I round up all the rubble and have a major cull. There’s no better feeling in the world than turning overflowing cupboards and full-to-the-brim drawers into minimalist vessels of essential goodies. Again I feel that warm fuzzy feeling as I traipse off to the charity shop to kindly bestow my discarded debris upon them.

But as with our financial affairs, the simplest and best approach is to only buy what we need in the first place. Don’t take out credit cards that will encourage you to get into debt and buy even more space hoggers. Don’t buy new versions of items you already have unless you are prepared to redeploy the originals. And definitely don’t buy presents for people this Christmas that will encourage them to follow you into the never-ending wilderness of waste!

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

Are you living a lie?

Contrary to what we may think, us girls are worse fibbers than our male counterparts. Don’t believe me? Well The Truth Booth doesn’t lie…

Set up by eInsurance to find out what kind of porkies us Brits are telling, the ‘confessional booth’ probably surprised and shocked its designers. Who knew the nation’s lovely ladies could be so creative with the truth?

In case you still don’t believe me (and why should you, I’m a woman?), here are the top-ten corkers our fellow females came up with: 

Kirsten Lewis shared that she accidently smashed her neighbour’s window and blamed it on one of her children. 

Louise Fox confessed that her husband always keeps her waiting when they go out. So to get back at him, she pees in the bath water (which they share) before she gets out. 

Sandra Hahn admitted that she has three very boisterous children, so to calm them down she told them an evil ‘Mr White’ would turn up and snatch them if they didn’t behave. Then one day a stranger turned up asking for a Mr White, which absolutely terrified the children. She never set them straight and still uses it to keep them under control. 

Roz Newman revealed that she stole the expensive gift she gave her mum for Christmas from someone else’s doorstep. 

Helen Scott shared a story about waking up to see her cat standing over her neighbour’s dead rabbit. Panicking, Helen placed the beaten up bunny back into its hutch before heading off to work, hoping they would think it died naturally. The neighbour later revealed that the rabbit had died a few days earlier and had been buried, but that it had later reappeared in the hatch. The kids thought their parents had buried it alive and Helen didn’t set the record straight. 

Susan Ackroyd confessed that she once made her husband a dog-meat sandwich. He took it to work with him in his packed lunch and is still none the wiser. 

Emily Wood revealed that she once put rabbit toenails in her ex-boyfriend’s herbs and onion juice in his milk.

Rebecca Haselhurst admitted she is seeing nine men at the moment (Rebecca is clearly a glutton for punishment). 

Emma Hall explained that she was picked on by a girl at school. To get revenge, she took the girl’s toothbrush, wiped her ‘blessed assurance’ with it and then put it back ready for her arch nemesis to use. 

Hannah Kollar blurted out the fact that she slept with her own fiancés dad (apologies to Hannah’s fiancé if this is how he found out).

Believe me now? I was taken aback by the booth’s findings. Shame on you ladies, I thought to myself.

But then two things occurred to me. First, the women were confessing these dark and deadly secrets because the 'best' lie would be rewarded with an iPad 2. So maybe they were actually lying about the lies they had told (and we all know two lies cancel each other, right?).

Secondly, I realised that us ladies might just be more honest about the lies we’ve told in the past than men are… 

Conclusion: men definitely lie more than us, they’re just not as good at it.

I should add, however, that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy and, while it may or may not earn you an iPad 2, it will definitely set you free! (John 8: 32).

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Christian women’s magazine Liberti.