Save some pennies and shed some pounds

Just when you thought the worst was over, news of a double-dip recession breaks. But although times are tough, there’s no need to resort to wartime rationing.

By introducing a few simple measures it’s easy to save a few quid, lose a couple of pounds (weight-wise) and do our bit for the environment. 

Here are a few tips to get you started...

1. Travel

If the idea of giving up your car drives you crazy, it might be worth downsizing, joining a carpool or even ‘sharing’ some wheels. It’s better for the environment and could get you on the road to financial recovery.

           

Those who feel brave enough to ditch the motor altogether might consider swapping four wheels for two. Find out if your company is part of the government cycle initiative, which will get you 20% off a bike, helmet and accessories and could even allow you to give up your expensive gym membership. Get fit and shape up your finances at the same time!

2. Banking

Debt should be dealt with as a priority. Consider switching any debt you have to an interest-free, balance transfer credit card. Pay off as much as you can each month, but make sure you at least meet the minimum payment every (on time). Red definitely isn’t the new black!

A cash ISA is a good way to save as it’s tax-free. It may be worth going for a fixed-term, limited-access version so you’re not tempted to cash in your stash. This type of account offers a higher rate of interest than an easy-access ISA.

3. Groceries

Plan your food shop carefully in advance, preferably meal by meal. Then when you get to the supermarket, stick to your detailed shopping list! This will reduce waste and help you to avoid unhealthy, purse-draining impulse buys.

Buy seasonal fruit and vegetables and use leftovers rather than throwing them away. There’s nothing tastier than a bit of bubble and squeak on a Monday night, nom nom.

Taking a packed lunch to work rather than buying a sandwich each day, and try cutting out your posh morning coffee. At the risk of sounding like a granny, a flask is quick to make up and could save you about £10 a week!

4. Bills

Get switched on about your energy bills and shop around to see whether you could get a better deal. Some providers offer discounts if you buy gas and electricity combined, and many reward customers who pay straight away or by direct debit. Visit www.energysavingtrust.org.uk for great energy-saving tips.

Broadband and mobile phone bills can also add up. Compare deals before you sign up and find out whether you could get cashback on a new deal (see sites like Quidco and TopCashback for more information). Some companies offer packaged deals that bundle TV services, broadband, landline and even mobile phone contracts, which may cut costs.

5. Leisure

Take advantage of discount sites such as Groupon, LivingSocial and kgbdeals. They offer a range of cheap days out, restaurant discounts and even cut-price holidays, allowing you to do fun things without breaking the bank.

Avoid buying expensive new clothes, shoes, accessories and electrical items. Why not host an 80s-style swap shop instead? You can rid your wardrobe of items you’ve never worn or are fruitlessly hoping to squeeze into again and hunt down some bargains of your own. Get everyone to bring a plate and a bottle and you’ve got a low-budget, sociable evening sorted.

Remember to...

...Think of ways you can give to the people around you without spending a fortune: offer to mow a neighbour’s lawn, babysit for a friend or do a day’s volunteering. The cost to you will be minimal, but the reward will be eternal.

...Be obedient with your tithe, giving the first 10% of all you earn to God. This may seem like a lot if your budget is tight, but it is something we are called to do – and with glad hearts.

Malachi 3:10 says: “‘Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,’ says the Lord Almighty, ‘and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.’” 

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.

What do you go to church for?

I had lunch with a close friend this week and the conversation somehow wound its way round to church.

She’s taken a break from it for the last few years but is thinking about going back. There’s one thing stopping her though: she feels like a hypocrite.

She explained that she wouldn’t be going to turn back to God, but for the sense of community church life brings. Coming from a family where the door is always open to friends, she misses the social aspect and the values it teaches. But she feels a bit uncomfortable about the praise and worship side of things. And while her husband supports her in everything she does, he is worried church members will make her split up with him if she starts going.

I personally think she’d get a lot out of church, both from a social and a spiritual point of view, and it’s probably her own reticence that will act as the biggest obstacle to her enjoyment of church itself. I’m also 100% sure no-one would try to split up her marriage – it’s a God-ordained institution (and he’s lovely!).

Anyway, my problem with church is the complete opposite. It’s only when I’m worshipping God that I feel completely free. It’s the social side of things that I struggle with. I’ve been known to sneak in as the first song starts, sit alone at the back and sneak out as the invitation for tea and coffee goes out.

I’m horrible at small talk and blush embarrassingly when I feel awkward. I’m also bad at recognising people I’ve spoken to before, so I’m always wary of asking questions I should already know the answer to! What if someone asks me something and I don’t give a holy enough answer? What if they invite me to something when there’s football on?!

I have been working on this, and the friendship groups I’ve built up in various churches over the years have been incredible. But I still get incredibly nervous when I go to a church where I don’t know anyone.

Like last week…

I made it inside through a maze of doors and was confronted by a host of indistinguishable older ladies: similar shape, hairstyle, fashion sense, glasses. They were invariably named Phyllis, Ann, Joyce and Edna and were all immensely friendly (one even invited me to lunch after the service… but there was football on).

The service itself was fine, although there were a few awkward moments. Phyllis/Ann/Joyce/Edna did an exercise with the kids involving a map cut into pieces and ‘hidden’ around the room. This went horribly wrong when one little boy grabbed a pile and refused to bring them to the front. (Hilarious.)

Then we were split into small groups to pray for the church’s missionaries, something I’m used to, but is still a bit awkward if you’re a visitor. The mood was significantly lightened when another little boy broke free of his parents and started attacking the piano (and our ear drums). Stevie Wonder he was not.

Finally, a guest speaker approached the microphone. Now I’m not saying middle-aged, leather-jacket-wearing Cockneys can’t be good preachers… but this guy wasn’t. Moments of greatness were interspersed with loud and repetitive cries for us to “get desperate for Jesus”. And I’m pretty sure he offended some of the Anns and Ednas when he said he wanted to see some “life back in this place”.

I resisted the urge to run away immediately after the service – in fact I spoke to another Joy and a young couple, all of whom were lovely. But it’s still the social side of church that I struggle with the most.

Whatever it is that puts us off, though, there are so many advantages to church. We get to worship our Heavenly Father. We develop relationships that are more like family than some of our own families. And we can then collectively take the love of God into our communities; representing Jesus to those who would rather stick pins in their eyes than go to church.

Every church has imperfections, and many of us find aspects of church difficult. But after 29 years of going, I’m convinced the pros far outweigh the cons.

I’m definitely looking forward to being back at my own church this Sunday, though!

I can’t TAKE it any more!

Yesterday I read that Rihanna was being treated for exhaustion and it made me think about the pressures celebrities face.

Many young girls and women dream of becoming a famous pop star with the glamorous lifestyle it brings. But few realise that getting to the top invariably involves long days, lack of sleep, constant travel, physical exertion and lack of privacy. 

If wannabe singers knew what it really involved, would they go for it?

Furthermore, if many of us realised how stressful it would be to get our dream job, have a family or overcome our various physical challenges, would we be game to take the risk?

The fact is, modern life is stressful. We are constantly on the go… always reachable by some form of technology… always feeling like we should be doing more.

Do you ever feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day? That as soon as one task is done, ten additional jobs will torpedo themselves into your ‘inbox’?

When we get stressed, our bodies release stress hormones. These hormones raise our blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels and long-term stress can lead to mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety, obesity, heart disease, skin problems and (in women) menstrual problems.

So what can we do about it?

Well, on a practical level, it’s worth exploring what the cause of our stress is. We may not be able (or willing) to give up us our jobs/motherhood/illness/family strife but there may be ways to reduce stress.

Do you take on more responsibility than you need to?

Do you feel guilty delegating work to others?

Do you have trouble saying ‘no’ to things you know you don’t have the time or energy to do?

Are you constantly striving for things you think will make you happy but in reality don’t?

Once you’ve had a think about this, it’s worth finding out what God says about stress:

1. It is a real thing that affects us all: “The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me” (Job 30:27)                                                                                                         

“All man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied” (Ecclesiastes 6:7)

  

2. Stress makes us unproductive and unfruitful: “The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful” (Matthew 13:22)                        

“Unless the Lord builds the house, it's builders labour in vain...In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat” (Psalm 127:1-2)

3. The answer is Christ: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27)

So how should we respond? By making the right choices…

“You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Choose what is better and it will not be taken from you” (Luke 10:41-42).

What is the “better” option though? Relationship with God…

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

The woman who spends time with God and reading His Word, she will be…

“Like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever she does prospers” (Psalm 1:1-3).

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

The write road to recovery

I’ve been a bookworm since before I could read. I loved the look and feel of books, the smell of the pages and the world they transported me to while my nose was hidden between their leaves.

Not just content to read, I created my own narratives from an early age. 

Aged ten-and-a-half I wrote my first short story, which (in equal measure) delighted my teacher and terrified my mum with its ahead-of-my-years content.

Words continue to fascinate me and I recently penned my first novel… a children’s book (the content of which is probably still ahead of my years!) For me, writing is a hobby, a source of income and, at times, even a form of therapy.

The majority of my book was written while I had a severe throat infection. I had an abscess in my throat that prevented me from talking, swallowing, eating and drinking. I eventually ended up in A&E and was in so much pain I genuinely wanted to die: think tonsillitis and then times that by ten (or by a million if, like me, you’re prone to exaggeration).

Because the pain was worse first thing in the morning, I was too afraid to sleep, so for three days solid I kept myself awake and tried to take my mind off it. Writing my book was one of the only things that helped, and it was awesome that something good came out of something so horrendous. It needs redrafting now and although I’m hoping to avoid the throat lurgy this time round, it’s good to know there’s something I can do if it strikes again!

But it seems I’m not the only one to have spotted the link between physical trials and prosaic therapy. Writing in The Telegraph, Jessica Jones explains how Guillain Barré Syndrome rendered her totally paralysed at the age of 25. One day her toes felt numb, then a week later she was unable to move, breathe or speak.

Jessica’s mother, who sat faithfully by her hospital bedside throughout, read PG Wodehouse aloud to her, using different voices for each character. “Inside my waxen, immobile body I was aching with laughter. Those books were written with a lightness and sense of the absurd that helped me to find the funny side of my own predicament,” Jessica writes.

Although she had to relearn to walk, talk and write, she has never forgotten how listening to them helped her “to escape the terror and confusion of being paralysed”. And whether it was her illness or her new-found love for Wodehouse that got to her, Jessica decided to pen her own masterpiece.

The Elegant Art of Falling Apart has been described as “inspiring, unflinchingly honest, and even at times laugh out loud hilarious”. It not only documents this terrible paralysis, it also covers her battle with cancer and being dumped straight after. Like me, Jessica seems to have found comfort in both listening to books being read and writing her own.

Having said that, the book that brings me the greatest consolation in the world is the Bible. Why? Because it is true and it has all the answers. It doesn’t just act as a distraction (like a novel) or an opportunity to vent (like an autobiography). It is rich in meaning, in language and in the way it connects the soul as well as the mind.

Whether you’re a traditional book reader, a fan of the Kindle, or an audiobook/podcast kind of person, it is the only piece of literature that can transform your world. The Bible also constantly reminds me that however literary and creative I think I am, God is just a tiny bit better at it! 

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

How to fight domestic violence the peaceful way

According to The Independent, 19,000 women are forced from their homes by domestic violence each year (based on figures from 2008-09). Around 60% (11,300 victims) find shelter at a women's refuge.

Figures show more than 9,000 women took children with them as they fled their homes, with 190 mothers taking as many as five children with them.

However, around 40% of organisations working with victims of sexual and domestic abuse have had to make staff redundant over the last 12 months and 28% have cut essential services to keep refuge beds open.

The Independent claims funding from local authorities for domestic and sexual-abuse organisations dropped 31% from £7.8 million in 2010-11 to just £5.4 million in the last financial year. Sadly, 320 women turned away from refuges every day!

UK police receive a call about domestic violence every minute, and it is thought that less than 24% of domestic violence crime is actually reported.

The facts

1. Domestic violence accounts for between 16% and one quarter of all recorded violent crime
2. 45% women and 26% men experience at least one incident of inter-personal violence in their lifetimes; however, when there were more than four incidents, 89% of victims were women
3. 54% of UK rapes are committed by a woman’s current or former partner
4. Two women a week are killed by a male partner or former partner
5. At least 750,000 children a year witness domestic violence
6. Women are at greatest risk of homicide at the point of separation or after leaving a violent partner
7. 44% of abused women are victimised more than once, and 18% are victimised three or more times
8. Domestic violence and other abuse is the most prevalent cause of depression and other mental health difficulties in women
9. Domestic violence has been identified as a prime cause of miscarriage or still-birth
10. 20% of young men and 10% of young women think that abuse or violence against women is acceptable

If you’re among the 80% of young men or 90% of young women who don’t think domestic violence is ok, these statistics are pretty shocking. And if services are cut, fewer women will be able to leave homes where they and their children are in danger.

Many women stay in abusive relationships for years and only leave if they are in fear for their or their kids’ lives, so we should be doing all we can to encourage and support the victims of this horrible crime.

If you or someone you know has suffered at the hands of their partner, encourage them to contact Refuge or Women’s Aid, both of which can be reached 24/7 on 0808 2000 247. Alternatively, they or you can call the police on 999.

Ways you can help

You can donate money to Refuge online or on 020 7395 7713. The charity claims £10 can be used to secure a protection order against the perpetrator; £20 can provide women with an ‘emergency kit’ of basic toiletries and food; and £50 could pay for a psychologist to support two children who have come from an abusive home. If you don’t have the cash yourself, why not do some fundraising?

Alternatively, by buying goods via www.buy.at/refuge you can raise up to 12% commission on your purchases at online stores such as Amazon, Tesco, play.com, John Lewis and M&S. And using www.everyclick.com/refuge to search the internet will allow you to raise funds without you even knowing it! You can even make it your homepage.

Or you can sign up for payroll giving, where the donation comes out before tax is deducted from your earnings. This means that if you give £10 from your pay packet, it will only cost you £8.

Finally, if you have an hour or more a month to spare, you can volunteer. Visit the Working for Refuge page for paid job opportunities or email volunteering@refuge.org.uk.

Read more about issues affecting women in the next edition of Liberti magazine.

How to be an employee and a Christian at the same time

There has been endless debate about the separation of church and state, and it seems the dispute is spilling over into the workplace with increasing velocity.

Recent news reports have highlighted the general view that work is work, and faith is faith; that the two things must be mutually exclusive.

Whether that means not wearing a cross to work, or cutting out prayer before council meetings, it seems the workplace is gradually being deChristianised. (If that’s not a word it soon will be!)

The question that arises then is, should I carry on working as a closet Christian or give up my faith and just get on with my job? Well neither, obviously. But I do think it’s important that we live out what we believe carefully and without compromising who we are in Christ.

It’s hard to strike a balance between fitting in, getting the job done and being a super Christian. If you’ve managed it, please let me know the secret! But I personally believe it’s impossible (and undesirable) to leave our faith at home when we head into work. Faith isn't like a hat that you can choose to put on if there's a storm brewing (literal or metaphorical); it's on the inside of you... whether you like it or not!

Telling someone to stop being a Christian at work is like asking someone to separate themselves from their nationality/political beliefs/deep love of cheese. Being a Christian isn’t what we do on Sundays, it is who we are, and it informs (or at least it should inform) everything we do. I’m a Christian when I go to watch Liverpool play, when I’m having lunch with a friend or when I’m up to my neck in proofreading.

So should we be quoting the Bible every time a colleague asks us a question, or offering to lay hands on our colleagues at their first sniffle? I wouldn’t recommend it. 

I personally think it’s usually the small things that set us apart, like:
  

•  Being absolutely honest, even if it means we get into trouble or lose money as a result
• Taking a genuine interest in our workmates and praying for them – especially the difficult ones (you know who I’m talking about)
• Showing respect for the boss even if he or she is wrong/being unreasonable
• Refusing to engage in gossip (even if you really want to know what Delia said to Chelsea at the staff do)
• Inviting our colleagues to social events and building lasting relationships with them
• Forgiving people rather than bearing grudges
• Standing up for the things that are really important
• Respecting people of other faiths or no faith and welcoming open discussion about what you believe and why
• Maintaining a positive attitude. No one likes a grump!
• Having cake/chocolate/cookies on hand at all times

None of this is groundbreaking stuff, and you probably do these things without even thinking about it. But while wearing a cross might suggest you are a Christian (although to be fair every self-respecting gangsta rapper does this), living an upright, gracious life every day will prove that you are.

The best piece of advice I’ve been given when it comes to living out my faith at work is to start the morning with prayer and continue in this attitude throughout the day. It’s hard to get offended/offend others if we approach work with the same heart of humility and thankfulness with which we approach God.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Love is all around us

Following on from last week’s blog, I’d like to share some other nuggets from the Exceptional Women’s Conference.

In case you missed the last entry, the theme for the conference was LOVE, based on John 4:7, which says: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God”.

Guest speaker Marion Meyers (senior pastor of The River Church in Devon) took two of the four main speaker spots at the event, which ran March 30-31.

I can’t say her teaching was exactly comfortable to listen to, but it was certainly relevant, poignant and incredibly powerful. At least, that’s how I felt about it.

Her first session was entitled “Looking for love in the wrong places”. She introduced the topic by explaining how she once took a play therapy course that talked about the concept of a ‘love tank’. In response to this, she told her two children that when they were hungry or thirsty, they had a little tank that mummy would fill when it was empty. In the same way, she told them they had a ‘love tank’ that she would fill with hugs any time they felt they needed love.

But she believes many women who grew up in homes where mum and/or dad were AWOL struggle to fill their ‘love tank’; many don’t even know how to do this. As a result, the tank gets broken and leaky; it never feels full enough.

This, Pastor Marion said, is something that God anticipated many moons ago. “For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2:13).

But that’s just the bad news. She pointed out that God is too gracious and merciful to allow people to remain in this broken state. His response is to provide a fountain of living water that never runs dry and permanently quenches our thirst for love (John 4:7-19).

“My joy, peace and happiness do not rely on anyone else loving or being nice to me,” Pastor Marion commented. “When we are filled up with living water there is nothing more satisfying.”

Like the woman at the well with the six ‘husbands’, she claimed women who look for love in the wrong places will be constantly unhappy, vulnerable and tormented; and they will always struggle to comprehend the love of God. The solution, she said, is to practically come to know the love of Christ for ourselves.

Carrying on from her Friday session, Pastor Marion’s Saturday slot, entitled “Bad Love” began with Ephesians 3:17-19, which talks about being “rooted and grounded in love” and knowing “the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God”.

She played a clip from Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, which includes lyrics such as: “I want your ugly, I want your disease; I want your everything, as long as it's free; I want your love.”

As the song shows, some women would rather have bad love than no love, and this means we allow ourselves to make excuses for the people in our lives that treat us badly. “Love and bad can’t go in the same sentence!” Pastor Marion said. “Love is empowering and accepting; it wants you to fly! It doesn’t want to squeeze you into a box and keep you locked up.”

But Pastor Marion claimed that God is into “swapsies”; that he trades beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. And that if people allow this to happen they will never thirst again. “If you can get loving yourself right you won’t put up with bad love,” she concluded.

As Solomon says in Proverbs 27:7: “A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

Read more from Joy in the next edition of Liberti magazine.