Creating Space

I went to a ‘gathering’ last weekend. Organised by Spring Harvest and Sophia Network it was a meeting up of women from all kinds of backgrounds who want to see women released to be all that they were created to be. I took along two of my own little women who, as they played on the iPad and read Little House on the Prairie quietly in the corner, got to hear women talking about how we could help little girls, just like them and maybe older, to dream big dreams and fly.


There's been something buzzing around my head since I left:  We talked about making space for people, thought about how we can make sure that we don’t get so protective of our own positions that we don’t empower other women. We faced up to the fact that it can be hard to step aside and allow room for competition and were tasked with thinking in groups about how we can create pathways for those who come after us.



It was a crucial thing to discuss but, in my group it became apparent that some felt a constant tension in their life at work. Not knowing how to create space or whether they should step down from their role or go part time so someone else gets a chance. It’s been going round in my brain since.


I think it's really important to recognise potential in people and encourage it, to mentor that person and help them take opportunities, to make sure that we don't do things out of selfish ambition BUT I don't think that means everyone has to fall on their sword after a couple of years and retire early or change jobs so that other people get the chance.


I think that the whole thing about church - if that's what we're talking about - should be about creating new space - our aim, to coin a phrase, is expansion. That should need more leaders, not just a quick turn around.


I think that in all our talk about not being selfish with our space - which is totally correct - we must be careful we don't end up feeling guilty that we have a space in the first place. Jesus handed over his task to the disciples at 33 because he had finished. At 33 most of us are just starting. And he handed over to 12, not just because they weren't actually the son of God and it would take 12 of them to do what he did but because they had to go to the ends of the earth. They led until they died, but they appointed and annointed new leaders (male and female) as they grew the church. They created space through evangelism and the simple need for more leaders. 


So I think creating space is about creating vision - saying - what Tearfund, Spring Harvest, Schoolswork etc do is great, lets do more. Leading churches is great - lets start new ones, speaking on a platform is important - go to the ends of the earth and speak to people who have never heard the news before. It’s about seeing our role, not as the destination but as the springboard for new projects with new people. 

The crucial thing is enabling women to dare to have vision in the first place and the courage to see it through. We still have to challenge bad theology and traditions and I personally think quotas have a place, but throughout history, bold women have gone and done the things men told them they couldn't and they have done them so well people noticed.

As a brethren girl myself, I was struck by how many women in the room yesterday were from the same background - who had grown up being told they couldn't but who did it anyway. Let's raise a generation of bold women with big dreams and empower them to turn those dreams into reality.

Love is all around us

Following on from last week’s blog, I’d like to share some other nuggets from the Exceptional Women’s Conference.

In case you missed the last entry, the theme for the conference was LOVE, based on John 4:7, which says: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God”.

Guest speaker Marion Meyers (senior pastor of The River Church in Devon) took two of the four main speaker spots at the event, which ran March 30-31.

I can’t say her teaching was exactly comfortable to listen to, but it was certainly relevant, poignant and incredibly powerful. At least, that’s how I felt about it.

Her first session was entitled “Looking for love in the wrong places”. She introduced the topic by explaining how she once took a play therapy course that talked about the concept of a ‘love tank’. In response to this, she told her two children that when they were hungry or thirsty, they had a little tank that mummy would fill when it was empty. In the same way, she told them they had a ‘love tank’ that she would fill with hugs any time they felt they needed love.

But she believes many women who grew up in homes where mum and/or dad were AWOL struggle to fill their ‘love tank’; many don’t even know how to do this. As a result, the tank gets broken and leaky; it never feels full enough.

This, Pastor Marion said, is something that God anticipated many moons ago. “For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns—broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jeremiah 2:13).

But that’s just the bad news. She pointed out that God is too gracious and merciful to allow people to remain in this broken state. His response is to provide a fountain of living water that never runs dry and permanently quenches our thirst for love (John 4:7-19).

“My joy, peace and happiness do not rely on anyone else loving or being nice to me,” Pastor Marion commented. “When we are filled up with living water there is nothing more satisfying.”

Like the woman at the well with the six ‘husbands’, she claimed women who look for love in the wrong places will be constantly unhappy, vulnerable and tormented; and they will always struggle to comprehend the love of God. The solution, she said, is to practically come to know the love of Christ for ourselves.

Carrying on from her Friday session, Pastor Marion’s Saturday slot, entitled “Bad Love” began with Ephesians 3:17-19, which talks about being “rooted and grounded in love” and knowing “the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God”.

She played a clip from Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”, which includes lyrics such as: “I want your ugly, I want your disease; I want your everything, as long as it's free; I want your love.”

As the song shows, some women would rather have bad love than no love, and this means we allow ourselves to make excuses for the people in our lives that treat us badly. “Love and bad can’t go in the same sentence!” Pastor Marion said. “Love is empowering and accepting; it wants you to fly! It doesn’t want to squeeze you into a box and keep you locked up.”

But Pastor Marion claimed that God is into “swapsies”; that he trades beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness. And that if people allow this to happen they will never thirst again. “If you can get loving yourself right you won’t put up with bad love,” she concluded.

As Solomon says in Proverbs 27:7: “A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

Read more from Joy in the next edition of Liberti magazine.