Do I have to go to church?

I remember having days as a kid when the thought of going to church was more than I could bear. My mum had very fixed ideas about what was expected of us on Sundays.

I always had to wear a flouncy dress and my older brother was forced to wear his smartest clobber (well at least, he was until his best trousers were worn out from skimming along the shiny floors on his knees).

While other parents brought colouring books and toys for their children to play with, we were expected to sit quietly until Sunday School was announced, whenever we weren’t being called on to sing, stand or help out in some way.

My brother and I responded differently to this strict regime. He decided, aged 13 or so, that he had done his time and would not be going back to church. No amount of ordering, pleading or bribery would change his mind. He still only ever crosses the threshold for weddings, and even then it is with great reluctance.

I, on the other hand, decided to embrace church life wholeheartedly. I landed the lead in most of the church plays (I had a big mouth even then) and was eager to participate at Sunday school. I made some great friends, who I still adore, and spent a great deal of time in youth meetings, at Christian camps and just hanging around the church between services.

This didn’t make me any better than my brother. Although I had committed my life to God, the level of commitment fluctuated considerably. On Sunday I could be praising my creator with all my heart, hands lifted and in full voice, but by Monday I could be smoking and swearing heartily with my school friends.

I did eventually realise that this wasn’t sustainable and, while I’ve moved churches several times since (for geographical reasons), my faith is now firmly rooted. I still make lots of mistakes, of course, but I no longer live a double life.

Sadly, a lot of the friends I made in those early days of church no longer have any time for ‘religion’. Several have wandered away and become embroiled in some pretty sticky situations.

So what can we do to keep the younger generation on the right path? We know that nagging doesn’t work, so what is the answer? Are we right to intervene if our children decide they no longer want to ‘do church’?

I’d answer the last question with an emphatic yes, and I’m pretty sure Care for the Family would agree. The organisation has launched a national tour designed to address (and counter), the issues that prompt children and teenagers to leave church behind.

This tour forms part of the “Getting Your Kids Through Church Without Them Ending Up Hating God” initiative Care for the Family launched at Spring Harvest 2011. The organisation has teamed up with several others including Youth for Christ, Scripture Union, Spring Harvest and Urban Saints to put an end to this sad trend. 

Visiting six venues across the UK in November, the tour will encourage parents, church leaders and youth workers to explore practical ways to save a generation of young people from feeling ostracised by the church.

The main speaker at these events will be Rob Parsons, the charity’s founder. He will reflect on the concept of the ‘perfect Christian child mould’ and will outline what he describes as the ‘Big Five killers of young faith’. Christian band Phatfish and the Saltmine Theatre Company will also take to the stage.

Tickets cost between £9 and £14 and are available for the following venues:

The Sage, Gateshead, on November 1 

The Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow, on November 2

The Waterfront Hall, Belfast, on November 3

The Corn Exchange, Cambridge, on November 22

The Hexagon, Reading, on November 23

The Colston Hall, Bristol, on November 24

Visit www.gyktc.org.uk to find out more and read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti.

Danniella Westbrook chooses God over Gucci

Photo credit: BBC

You often hear American actresses mentioning God, but I was surprised to hear former EastEnder Danniella Westbrook talking about her new-found faith.

The actress, who is sadly better known for her nose-destroying coke habit than her acting skills, has turned her back on the drug that cost her £250,000 and almost killed her.

And, while Gucci and Prada used to be her only ‘gods’, Danniella says she is now a born-again Christian. “If you had told me two years ago that I was going to be Christian, I would have laughed. I used to tell people, ‘I’m way past saving’,” she claims.

Her mind was changed after a visit to the Sanctuary Church in California; a church pastored by former drug addict Jay Haizlip.

During her first visit two years ago, she recalls feeling “something so spiritual and amazing” that she felt like crying. “After a few visits I found myself walking up to the altar to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my sins,” she explains.

Danniella’s previous experience of church was being told 'thou shalt not do this', at which point she would start thinking about what she needed in Tesco! But she was overwhelmed by the fact people at the Sanctuary were so alive – and that they were there of their own volition. “The worship started and I thought it was amazing,” she says.

"Being English, I wanted to get up and dance but I was too embarrassed. I didn't know God; I didn't have a relationship with God. Jay started preaching and it was like he was speaking right at us.”

The former Dancing On Ice contestant has now been clean for ten years and she, Kevin and their two children regularly attend the church, where Katy Perry’s parents have been known to preach. And when they’re not at church, they often pray and read the Bible together.

“People are so cynical about religion in the UK. Before I came to the States, I had never seen a church like this. Here, people don’t just pray – they call out to God and sing and cry.

“People tell us, ‘Oh no, you’re in the God squad now.’ But they don’t get it. I have no interest in being famous any more unless it can help me to spread God’s word. I really think I have been put in this position to help people.

“God speaks to me in so many ways. I talk to him and it is definitely a two-way conversation.”

Although she hasn’t ruled out another return to EastEnders in the future, she has certainly turned her back on the shallow life she was living.

The actress is now looking to return to the UK to share her new ­beliefs in a nation that seems to have forgotten about God.

“I feel that me working on EastEnders and becoming a Christian might be God’s way of leading people to the Lord,” she reveals.

Her priorities are very different now. “Fame and celebrity are false idols, says Danniella. “Too many people today worship at the altar of celebrity but there is a spiritual vacuum inside them. That hole can only be filled by God.

“Fame and money mean nothing without a solid spiritual foundation. I know because I had everything, and it meant nothing. I realise some people will be shocked by how much my life has changed, but I've never been more serious about anything in my life. The most important thing in my life now is family and God.

“I truly believe God has saved my life and I want to bring the message back to England and open a church there. The whole point about this church is that it is fun. There is no reason why religion has to be boring. I believe there is a gap in the UK and we can fill that gap.”

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine or in Christian men’s mag Sorted.