A woman who touched our hearts

Photo credit: Jess Trigg (Jess left, Claire right)

I had a load of ideas for this week’s blog, but something that happened yesterday totally threw everything else out of the window.

Because yesterday I went to the funeral of one of the most vivacious, intelligent and talented women I’ve met. Although I only met her a handful of times, her warmth and friendliness made me feel as though I’d known her far longer.

I was introduced to Claire and her then-boyfriend Simon by a mutual friend, Jess. One day Jess and her boyfriend James were in the car with Claire and Simon (who were married by this time), talking and laughing, when BANG.

A car slammed into theirs and in one short moment life changed forever. Claire, who was driving at the time, was killed more or less instantaneously. Her husband had minor injuries, while Jess and James were both badly hurt.

I believe the woman who crashed into them has since been charged with driving while under the influence (not for the first time) and for dangerous driving. Showing zero remorse, she then prolonged everyone’s suffering by asking for a post-mortem, which meant the funeral was delayed by months.

I could go on about how her disgusting behaviour, for taking a precious life from her husband of just two years, from her family, from her friends and from the marvellous future she was carving out for herself. And for leaving James on death’s door with internal bleeding and Jess with serious injuries including multiple breaks to her pelvis.

But seeing the bravery of everyone who went to the funeral and hearing the way people talked about Claire made me realise that she is the one we should be focusing on and learning from.

The 32-year-old Liverpool businesswoman played a major role in promoting the city at the World Expo in Shanghai. Her company created the 3D film about Liverpool that was one of the most popular attractions at the China Expo. Claire also founded creative industry support network Kin, which is used by hundreds of people in the design and media sectors across Merseyside.

And outside work, she also made a lasting impression. From the moment I met her I knew she was special. She had a zest for life that was truly infectious. Her smile was captivating and her witty sense of humour was as sharp as a sword. Claire had a close circle of friends that adored her, and she and Simon fitted together like hand and glove.

She would have been so proud of everyone that spoke at the funeral yesterday; it wasn’t easy for them but they captured Claire beautifully and gave her the best possible send-off. It didn’t surprise me that the crematorium was full to the brim with a lot of people standing at the back.

The last time I saw Claire a bunch of us were trying on fake moustaches and wigs. I laughed so much my stomach hurt!

Photo credit: Jess Trigg (Jess left, Joy right)

If we can learn anything from this terrible situation, it’s that we should value each and every day; that we should live life exuberantly, work conscientiously, laugh continually and love passionately. Just as Claire did.

My thoughts and prayers are with Simon, the family and the many friends she made during her short life.

Time to stop the traffik

According to the BBC, at least 400 African children have been abducted and trafficked to the UK (and subsequently rescued) by UK authorities over the last four years. However, this 400 only numbers those who have been rescued; just stop and think for a minute about what has happened to those who haven’t.

Experts claim a growing number of witchdoctors and ‘spiritual’ healers are involved in the trafficking and abuse of these children. It is believed some of these abductions are being carried out to facilitate ‘Juju’ (witchcraft-related) rituals, which often require human blood.

Victims have explained how rich clients pay witch doctors to remove hair from the child’s body and then make incisions into the arms, legs, head and genitals to obtain the much-coveted blood.

Many of these children are repeatedly told they are evil and that they are responsible for bad things that are happening around them. Some even convince themselves that they somehow deserve the abuse they are suffering.

Those who have been rescued are afraid to name their abductors in case they or their families are tracked down and harmed. And many are afraid to talk about the Juju rituals because superstition tells them something bad will happens to them if they do

The US State Department claims Uganda has become one of the main source countries for children being smuggled to the UK, with 9,000 having been reported missing over the last four years.

It’s a profitable business, with traffickers earning as much as £10,000 per child. And with Ugandan authorities unable to cope with the problem, it looks as though it will continue, and even escalate, in the future.

So what can (and must) we do about it?

First of all, we need to pray. James 5:16 says: "The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous [wo]man avails much." Jesus makes his opinion on children very clear in the gospels: they are extremely precious in his sight. So we should be praying for these dear children fervently and frequently.

Second, find out if there is a scheme in your area targeting this terrible crime. Cambridge Community Church (C3), for example, recently invited 80 churches from across the region to attend a talk given by Ben Cooley, CEO of Hope for Justice. The aim was to unite, inspire and equip local churches to take action. With anti-trafficking initiatives unrolling across the UK, it’s time for you to get involved!

Imagine if your son was abducted and mutilated for a superstitious ritual, uprooted from his home and living in constant fear and pain. Or if your daughter was stolen from you and forced into a life of drugs, violence and prostitution.

Of course, it’s not just children that are being trafficked. Many adults are also trafficked and forced to become sex workers or, basically, slaves. With statistics showing that 99% of trafficked victims are never rescued, it’s time to stand up and be counted.

“I firmly believe that if we work together we can establish the momentum to change history,” says Mr Cooley. “We can make this county a hostile environment for traffickers and see trafficking end in our lifetime.”

Don’t turn a blind eye… It’s time to stop the traffik.

Visit these sites for more info: http://hopeforjustice.org.uk; www.stophumantraffic.com; www.stopthetraffik.org/humantrafficking/background.aspx; www.notforsalecampaign.org; http://stophumantrafficking.com.

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti and its parent magazine, Sorted.

 

Danniella Westbrook chooses God over Gucci

Photo credit: BBC

You often hear American actresses mentioning God, but I was surprised to hear former EastEnder Danniella Westbrook talking about her new-found faith.

The actress, who is sadly better known for her nose-destroying coke habit than her acting skills, has turned her back on the drug that cost her £250,000 and almost killed her.

And, while Gucci and Prada used to be her only ‘gods’, Danniella says she is now a born-again Christian. “If you had told me two years ago that I was going to be Christian, I would have laughed. I used to tell people, ‘I’m way past saving’,” she claims.

Her mind was changed after a visit to the Sanctuary Church in California; a church pastored by former drug addict Jay Haizlip.

During her first visit two years ago, she recalls feeling “something so spiritual and amazing” that she felt like crying. “After a few visits I found myself walking up to the altar to ask the Lord for forgiveness for my sins,” she explains.

Danniella’s previous experience of church was being told 'thou shalt not do this', at which point she would start thinking about what she needed in Tesco! But she was overwhelmed by the fact people at the Sanctuary were so alive – and that they were there of their own volition. “The worship started and I thought it was amazing,” she says.

"Being English, I wanted to get up and dance but I was too embarrassed. I didn't know God; I didn't have a relationship with God. Jay started preaching and it was like he was speaking right at us.”

The former Dancing On Ice contestant has now been clean for ten years and she, Kevin and their two children regularly attend the church, where Katy Perry’s parents have been known to preach. And when they’re not at church, they often pray and read the Bible together.

“People are so cynical about religion in the UK. Before I came to the States, I had never seen a church like this. Here, people don’t just pray – they call out to God and sing and cry.

“People tell us, ‘Oh no, you’re in the God squad now.’ But they don’t get it. I have no interest in being famous any more unless it can help me to spread God’s word. I really think I have been put in this position to help people.

“God speaks to me in so many ways. I talk to him and it is definitely a two-way conversation.”

Although she hasn’t ruled out another return to EastEnders in the future, she has certainly turned her back on the shallow life she was living.

The actress is now looking to return to the UK to share her new ­beliefs in a nation that seems to have forgotten about God.

“I feel that me working on EastEnders and becoming a Christian might be God’s way of leading people to the Lord,” she reveals.

Her priorities are very different now. “Fame and celebrity are false idols, says Danniella. “Too many people today worship at the altar of celebrity but there is a spiritual vacuum inside them. That hole can only be filled by God.

“Fame and money mean nothing without a solid spiritual foundation. I know because I had everything, and it meant nothing. I realise some people will be shocked by how much my life has changed, but I've never been more serious about anything in my life. The most important thing in my life now is family and God.

“I truly believe God has saved my life and I want to bring the message back to England and open a church there. The whole point about this church is that it is fun. There is no reason why religion has to be boring. I believe there is a gap in the UK and we can fill that gap.”

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine or in Christian men’s mag Sorted.

Hannah’s dilemma

 Photo credit: PinkStock Photos

Sometimes the Bible seems far removed from the reality of our daily lives. I’ve just read Ezekiel and it made me feel a bit like I was swimming through treacle at times.

But the more I read the more relevant it becomes. The story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1, for example, is interesting and helpful to any woman.

So what’s the story?

Well Hanna is married to Elkanah, but has to share him with his other wife Peninnah. To add insult to injury, Peninnah has a brood of kids – often considered a mark of God’s blessing – while Hannah is unable to conceive.

There is one consolation for poor Hannah; her husband seems to really love her (1 Samuel 1:4 and 8). But this isn’t enough to fill the void of childlessness, particularly with Peninnah continually rubbing her face in it (1 Samuel 1:6). She often wept and went without food because she was so downhearted (1 Samuel 1:7).

But life changes for Hannah following a ‘chance’ encounter with Eli the priest. Eli initially thinks the weeping woman has had a few too many, but soon realises she is just overcome with grief and is silently crying out to God. The priest tells her to go in peace, saying “may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him” (1 Samuel 1:17).

And God does exactly that. It’s not long before she’s holding her very own son Samuel (meaning ‘God has heard’) in her arms. But the story doesn’t end there. Hannah had made a vow to God that if she should be blessed with a much longed for son she would “give him to the Lord for all the days of his life” (1 Samuel 1:11). And that’s exactly what she does.

So what does this tell us about God?

1. He hears our prayers (Psalm 28:6)
2. He gives us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4)
3. He sometimes allows us to suffer for a period so that we draw nearer to him and give our lives and futures into his hands
4. He brings important people in to our lives at just the right time
5. He is gracious – Hannah went on to have three sons and two daughters (1 Samuel 2:21)

What does it tell us about Hannah?

1. She is a normal woman who desperately wants a thriving family
2. She persists in prayer, even though she is barren “year after year” (1 Samuel 1:7)
3. She believes what Eli tells her and stands on his word in faith (1 Samuel 1:18)
4. She fulfils her vow to God and gives him great thanks and praise for answering her prayers (1 Samuel 1:24-28; 1 Samuel 2:1-10)
5. Her faithfulness results in the ascendancy of an awesome man of God who powerfully influences Israel’s history (1 Samuel 2:26). He goes on to become a great prophet and judge, and is tasked by God to anoint both Saul and David as kings

So what can we learn from this?

1. God’s timing isn’t always the same as ours. We need to keep pressing in until we get an answer to prayer
2. We should surround ourselves with wise people who can reassure us with the Word and bolster our faith (Proverbs 13:20)
3. If we make a promise to God we should fulfil it (Deuteronomy 23:21; Ecclesiastes 5:4)
4. We should be extremely thankful for everything God has done in our lives, and for the things we believe he is going to do (Psalm 100:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
5. We should expect great things – Samuel far exceeded Hannah’s expectations

If you don’t know what your ‘Samuel’ is, what your heart is really yearning for, ask God to reveal it to you. Then keep your eye on the prize and wait patiently for God to bring it about. And when he does, make sure you pass on the good news.

The power and impact of our testimonies – however insignificant they might seem to us – is often much greater than we think. If we just keep what God in our lives to ourselves, we are potentially robbing others of similar blessings. Part of our thanksgiving should be telling people just how incredible he is (Isaiah 12:5).

Read more about powerful women of God - some from the Bible and others who are alive today - in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Trying it on

Do you try on every stitch of clothing you own before heading out for the evening… and then end up wearing the very first thing you tried on?

I’ve done this more times than I care to remember. And worst of all, I tend to scatter the discarded items all over the floor to be dealt with when I get home. (Don’t tell my mum!)

But interviewing a very special designer for Liberti changed the way I think about clothes altogether. This designer, Lavinia Brennan, recently co-founded Beulah London with her friend (Lady) Natasha Rufus Isaac.

So why did this news have such an impact on me?

Well, firstly, the company designs the prettiest dresses imaginable using the most exquisite materials available. It made me realise that, rather than nipping to Primark and picking up 30 items I don’t need, it might be worth investing in a few really special pieces that stand out from the crowd.

Now the dresses don’t come cheap – prices range from £150 to £600 – but if I owned one of them I don’t think I’d need to try anything else on. And I certainly wouldn’t be throwing one on the floor.

I’ve always prided myself on buying clothes at rock bottom prices, and making sure I tell people how cheap I got them. But I’ve started to understand the toll the ‘fast fashion’ industry is taking on the environment and workers in the developing world.

And that brings me to the most important contribution Beulah London is making. The young designers have found a way of turning fashion—an industry in which sex clearly sells—on its head by helping victims of the sex trafficking industry. Their Christian faith has inspired them to create a business that isn’t just about profit and prestige.

You may be wondering how making a few pretty frocks will enable the girls to do this. Lavinia explains: “Natasha and myself spent two months working in the slums of Delhi in an aftercare home for women who had come out of the sex trade.

“Most afternoons we spent in a very small production unit teaching the girls sewing skills. This is what first inspired us. We saw that there was a need to provide the women with an alternative, sustainable income that would utilise these skills that so many of the women were being taught.”

In 2008, the UN estimated that nearly 2.5 million people from 127 different countries were being trafficked into 137 countries across the world. Many of these women are starved, confined, beaten, raped, forced to use drugs and threatened with violence towards their loved ones.

The London-based designers already employ women from human trafficking backgrounds in India to make the canvas bags the dresses are sold in. Ultimately, they hope they will be able to fund training schemes for the girls and one day open their own factory where the women can make the dresses themselves.

After talking to Lavinia I realised that cheaper isn’t always better. If I bag myself a bargain, who is really paying the price for it? Can I justify posing in front of the mirror in a £4 dress when I know that it was most likely made in some sweat shop that is probably mistreating its workers?

I’ve also realised that the choices we make can have a much greater influence than we think. If we knew that buying a Beulah dress would help rescue one trafficked woman, wouldn’t we all get one? (I know this is an oversimplification, but you get my point.) I guess what I’m asking is, are we more concerned about the way we look, or the way women across the globe are being treated?

Okay, so I can’t promise I’ll never buy cheap and cheerful again, or that my wardrobe will be exclusively populated by Beulah’s gorgeous gowns. But I can say that I will think much more carefully about what I buy (fashion and otherwise) in the future.

Find out more about Beulah and read the full story in the upcoming edition of Liberti magazine.

Are you living a lie?

Contrary to what we may think, us girls are worse fibbers than our male counterparts. Don’t believe me? Well The Truth Booth doesn’t lie…

Set up by eInsurance to find out what kind of porkies us Brits are telling, the ‘confessional booth’ probably surprised and shocked its designers. Who knew the nation’s lovely ladies could be so creative with the truth?

In case you still don’t believe me (and why should you, I’m a woman?), here are the top-ten corkers our fellow females came up with: 

Kirsten Lewis shared that she accidently smashed her neighbour’s window and blamed it on one of her children. 

Louise Fox confessed that her husband always keeps her waiting when they go out. So to get back at him, she pees in the bath water (which they share) before she gets out. 

Sandra Hahn admitted that she has three very boisterous children, so to calm them down she told them an evil ‘Mr White’ would turn up and snatch them if they didn’t behave. Then one day a stranger turned up asking for a Mr White, which absolutely terrified the children. She never set them straight and still uses it to keep them under control. 

Roz Newman revealed that she stole the expensive gift she gave her mum for Christmas from someone else’s doorstep. 

Helen Scott shared a story about waking up to see her cat standing over her neighbour’s dead rabbit. Panicking, Helen placed the beaten up bunny back into its hutch before heading off to work, hoping they would think it died naturally. The neighbour later revealed that the rabbit had died a few days earlier and had been buried, but that it had later reappeared in the hatch. The kids thought their parents had buried it alive and Helen didn’t set the record straight. 

Susan Ackroyd confessed that she once made her husband a dog-meat sandwich. He took it to work with him in his packed lunch and is still none the wiser. 

Emily Wood revealed that she once put rabbit toenails in her ex-boyfriend’s herbs and onion juice in his milk.

Rebecca Haselhurst admitted she is seeing nine men at the moment (Rebecca is clearly a glutton for punishment). 

Emma Hall explained that she was picked on by a girl at school. To get revenge, she took the girl’s toothbrush, wiped her ‘blessed assurance’ with it and then put it back ready for her arch nemesis to use. 

Hannah Kollar blurted out the fact that she slept with her own fiancés dad (apologies to Hannah’s fiancé if this is how he found out).

Believe me now? I was taken aback by the booth’s findings. Shame on you ladies, I thought to myself.

But then two things occurred to me. First, the women were confessing these dark and deadly secrets because the 'best' lie would be rewarded with an iPad 2. So maybe they were actually lying about the lies they had told (and we all know two lies cancel each other, right?).

Secondly, I realised that us ladies might just be more honest about the lies we’ve told in the past than men are… 

Conclusion: men definitely lie more than us, they’re just not as good at it.

I should add, however, that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy and, while it may or may not earn you an iPad 2, it will definitely set you free! (John 8: 32).

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Christian women’s magazine Liberti.