Body Image - through the eyes of a child...

I’ve just come back from delivering a workshop on body image at a local secondary school. I’m reminded again of how important it is that kids are given this information – in schools, at home and through the media. I'm delighted that Media Smart have developed an information pack for parents on the whole issue - it's a great resource and you can download it here.

The information kids are given – at school through their peers, at home through the things they hear their parents saying, often inadvertently about themselves, through the media both online, onscreen and in print – sets them an unattainable target for beauty. Adverts, TV programmes and even social media portray men and women in airbrushed, digitally enhanced perfection to the extent that young people no longer know what is real, but are left with the ‘knowledge’ that they don’t match up.

The result is a generation, probably now a second generation, of young people whose self-esteem is riding at an all-time low, and who are increasingly struggling with a range of eating disorders as a follow on to body dysmorphia. They have been taught that their value lies in their appearance, that achievement is about weight loss and that perfect hair is a thing to strive for.

I still find it astonishing to go into a classroom and realise how few children are aware that the images that they are bombarded with are not real – that so many are quite literally an artist’s creation – founded on reality but now the figment of someone’s imagination; a work of art, certainly, but not real.

I get great satisfaction from watching the students I work with develop an awareness; to see them begin to critically analyse the adverts I place before them, to hear them discuss and discover the messages in the advertisement, to dissect those messages and then reject them. I pray that they continue to develop these skills as they learn to filter the images that enter their psyche.

And I pray that mine will not be the last voice that encourages them to know that they are more than their body. I pray that as they return home, they find parents who can chat this through with them. Parents who will value their kindness, their intellect, their thoughtfulness, their skills, their humour, their patience, their tenacity, their stamina, their strength and their loyalty above their looks.

I’m a mum, I think my girls are gorgeous – there are days when I think they are so cute I could actually eat them. But this must never be the only praise I give them. I do tell them their hair is beautiful and that they look lovely in that outfit – but I also tell them how proud I am of their achievements.

I tell Meggie that I am blown away by her swimming, I spend hours chatting with Gem about the books she's reading. I tell Maddie that her creativity is a gift that she must cherish and Emmie knows how impressed we are that she is up at the stable in all weathers, mucking out and helping so that she can earn some time to actually ride. Amber could singlehandedly replace the entire Olympic Committee and still find time for fun, such is her skill for organisation. These are the things that make my kids unique; these are the things that I love about them; these are the things that I never want them to forget are important.

We influence the people in our lives by the things we say about them and about ourselves. When I talk about wanting to lose weight or complain that I feel fat I’m teaching my kids to look at themselves and wonder if they’re overweight too, like mummy. The thing is, my kids look at me and just see me. They don’t see the love handles or the cellulite or the sags – they just see mummy. They don’t see the ‘flaws’. When I disillusion them by pointing these things out I’m teaching them that they matter. I’m putting the thought into their minds that maybe there is something about them that’s not how it should.

Quite frankly I should keep quiet and allow myself a place where I am like Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way! There aren't many people who think that about me, so while my children accept me just the way I am, I should enjoy it. Then, just maybe, it will enable them to grow up accepting themselves in the same way. 

Getting creative with the truth

Guest blog with Liza Hoeksma

Many of us are uncomfortable with our creative sides. In fact, some of you would probably even deny you’ve got one. The truth is, we’re made by the ultimate creator and we reflect his nature so, well, the jigs up: you are in fact creative.

So why do we find it so hard to embrace? I wonder if the fact that creativity rarely pays the bills means it get less of a look in than other elements of our lives. At school the curriculum often features music, drama and art, but unless you’re the one in a million who is destined for stardom in one of these areas, you’ll likely be nudged into a more ‘sensible’ career path. So by the age of 16 you’ve let most of those creative pursuits drop, thinking you weren’t really any good at them anyway and tucking them into ‘the school years’ file in your head.

That was pretty much my story, anyway. As a result, I spent my twenties trying to silence the creative person in me, allowing instead the much louder, logical voice inside me to take control. I wanted a straight career path; roles and responsibilities I knew I could do well in.

But more recently the creative voice has been getting louder in me. I realised that to be creative I had to deal with my fear of failure. GULP! I don’t like getting things wrong (who does?), but if I only ever do things I know I can get right the first time round, I’ll never get anywhere. Or at least not anywhere exciting.

As I’ve taken small steps to embrace and even cultivate creativity I’ve realised it impacts on almost every area of life. It’s taught me to be kinder to myself, to enjoy and appreciate things that are beautiful rather than just things that are purposeful. It’s given me freedom to express myself; to rethink what I value and the way I spend my time and my money. It’s opened my eyes to so much of the world that I had blocked out in my pursuit of the logical.

How much time do you spend pursuing and exploring creativity? I don’t just mean drawing a picture or writing a song – I mean anything creative from baking a cake to visiting the theatre; from taking a photograph to making someone a birthday present. There are many ways to embrace creativity, but we so often shut them out of our lives and in doing so we shut down a part of who we were made to be.

So this year I want to give it a shot. I want to be free to create ten rubbish pictures because the eleventh might be great. I want to try new recipes and not worry if they don’t turn out like Nigella promised. I want to sew my friends pretty pictures and hope they’ll forgive me for my raggedy stitching. And I want to learn from others whether that means going to the ballet or trying a new author.

And most of all I want to learn from the ultimate creator. I want to sit and watch the sea, calmed by its rhythm and in awe of its power. I want to stand in the middle of a forest and be amazed again at the level of detail God has invested in our world. I want to visit the zoo and smile at the fact that God created giraffes and hippos. The one who created the whole world out of nothing, He’s the one who will teach me – and you if you’re up for it – what it really means to live creatively.

Liza Hoeksma writes for Godculture, an online magazine that showcases Christianity in modern culture. For more articles on faith, creativity, technology, justice, music and more, visit Godculture.