Setting boundaries is biblical and liberating!

I’m just about to complete my first semester of Bible School, and it’s already beginning to change my life. One of the modules, in particular, has made me rethink the decisions I make on a daily basis. 

It’s called Boundaries, and its aim is to help people take ownership of their own actions. One of the first principles of this practical and thought-provoking course is learning how to say “NO!” to things. This in itself is a revolutionary concept to me!

I thought I’d share a bit of it with you to get you thinking about where the boundaries lie in your own life. I’m sure we could all do with ‘fixing up the fences’ around our ‘properties’ (bodies, minds and hearts) and making sure we protect ourselves from the many people and things that want to invade our space each day. So here are some of the basic principles…

A boundary is a personal property line defining where a property begins and ends. We are called to set physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries; distinguishing what belongs to us and what we are responsible for (Galatians 6:5-8). Establishing boundaries is about setting limits that protect us from harm, maintain order and help us to not to “stray” from (violate the boundaries of) God’s commands (Psalm 119:20-24).

God introduced boundaries right from creation (darkness/light, land/sea) and gave Adam and Eve clear boundaries (rules and responsibilities) in the Garden of Eden. Jesus had boundaries: He only ever did what the Father had instructed Him to do (John 5:19) and He often introduced physical boundaries between Himself and others when He withdrew to pray. Jesus says: “I stand at the door, and knock” (Revelation 3:20). He never invades our space without permission.

Boundaries define what we are personally responsible for and help us fulfil our God-given purpose. They also allow us to say no to things without feeling guilty. They prevent us from having our property (time/values/relationships) invaded or corrupted (2 Peter 1:2-4). They enable us to guard our hearts, minds and bodies (1 Peter 1:13), which are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Failure to protect and maintain our boundaries can lead to sin and the consequences of this sin.

Boundaries give us control and true freedom (John 8:32). They allow us to choose how to respond to provocation and offence. Effective boundaries help us to remain sin (“trespass”) free, which means we don’t hurt others or encroach on their property. Boundaries guard our “treasure” but allow us to live in communion with God and others, giving us the freedom to choose life or death (Deuteronomy 30:16-19; Romans 8:13). Ultimately, boundaries help us to become more Christlike.

If you are continually saying “yes” to people, when really you mean “no” or “maybe”, or you allow people to walk all over your life rules and values, I’d encourage you to take a Boundaries course or to read Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. The principles are simple and it’s surprisingly liberating.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.