Fifty Shades of Grey: what’s all the fuss about?

Guest blog from Sophia Grace

With global sales running into tens of millions, Fifty Shades of Grey and its two sequels by EL James are not so much books as a publishing phenomenon. 

Why have these books been so successful?

For a start, they follow a tried and tested formula straight out of Mills & Boon: take one slightly clumsy, socially inept, plain and virginal girl and one cool, handsome, incredibly rich and powerful young man – put them together and eventually, despite trials and tribulations (you guessed it), it all works out.

The novelty in EL James’ books is a fairly explicit eroticism. This is of a very feminine kind: despite ‘gentle’ sadism and bondage being major themes there is little sense of genuine threat and the encounters are (rather tiresomely) always orgasmic. 

It is interesting that there are also limits to the sexual practices: the author is clearly aware of not just what turns women on but also what turns them off. The fact that these books were simultaneously published in digital format and can be bought and read in secret also helped to drive sales.  

The sexual nature of these books has aroused a storm of criticism in Christian circles and the eroticism is certainly problematic. Yet deciding where acceptable boundaries lie in this area is very difficult; after all, throughout history the Church has frequently found Song of Songs to be too hot to handle. Yet at the risk of sounding puritanical and even legalistic, I don’t think these are books for singles.

However, the issues of sex disguise deeper, more subtle and possibly more dangerous problems and they also present a challenge to women. These books are sheer fantasy; indeed there are Pixar cartoons that offer a greater sense of realism. The real world, dear readers, is not like this. 

If you are waiting for a similar Mr Right (did I mention his helicopter?) you may be waiting a very long time. Once more we get the myth that all you really need in a good relationship is lots and lots of sex. 

Another desperately dangerous idea is that sadism is pleasurable. Frankly, if any man starts to suggest that he’d like to tie you up and beat you, get out very quickly; possibly passing the local police station on the way home. There is also a disheartening materialism present throughout the books: a ‘possessions-pornography’ of things and brands that repeats another lie: that wealth and power are ultimately significant.

My biggest complaint, though, is simply that I find the theme of a woman’s submission to a dominant man  extraordinarily depressing. Is this where women’s rights have brought us? There is a tragic irony here that although some feminists have labelled Christianity as male-dominated and oppressive to women, what our post-Christian society is producing looks infinitely worse. These books fly in the face of everything that this magazine stands for: give me Liberti not bondage.

Have you read it? Tell us what you think. You can read more about this 'literary' phenomenon in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine. 

Creating Space

I went to a ‘gathering’ last weekend. Organised by Spring Harvest and Sophia Network it was a meeting up of women from all kinds of backgrounds who want to see women released to be all that they were created to be. I took along two of my own little women who, as they played on the iPad and read Little House on the Prairie quietly in the corner, got to hear women talking about how we could help little girls, just like them and maybe older, to dream big dreams and fly.


There's been something buzzing around my head since I left:  We talked about making space for people, thought about how we can make sure that we don’t get so protective of our own positions that we don’t empower other women. We faced up to the fact that it can be hard to step aside and allow room for competition and were tasked with thinking in groups about how we can create pathways for those who come after us.



It was a crucial thing to discuss but, in my group it became apparent that some felt a constant tension in their life at work. Not knowing how to create space or whether they should step down from their role or go part time so someone else gets a chance. It’s been going round in my brain since.


I think it's really important to recognise potential in people and encourage it, to mentor that person and help them take opportunities, to make sure that we don't do things out of selfish ambition BUT I don't think that means everyone has to fall on their sword after a couple of years and retire early or change jobs so that other people get the chance.


I think that the whole thing about church - if that's what we're talking about - should be about creating new space - our aim, to coin a phrase, is expansion. That should need more leaders, not just a quick turn around.


I think that in all our talk about not being selfish with our space - which is totally correct - we must be careful we don't end up feeling guilty that we have a space in the first place. Jesus handed over his task to the disciples at 33 because he had finished. At 33 most of us are just starting. And he handed over to 12, not just because they weren't actually the son of God and it would take 12 of them to do what he did but because they had to go to the ends of the earth. They led until they died, but they appointed and annointed new leaders (male and female) as they grew the church. They created space through evangelism and the simple need for more leaders. 


So I think creating space is about creating vision - saying - what Tearfund, Spring Harvest, Schoolswork etc do is great, lets do more. Leading churches is great - lets start new ones, speaking on a platform is important - go to the ends of the earth and speak to people who have never heard the news before. It’s about seeing our role, not as the destination but as the springboard for new projects with new people. 

The crucial thing is enabling women to dare to have vision in the first place and the courage to see it through. We still have to challenge bad theology and traditions and I personally think quotas have a place, but throughout history, bold women have gone and done the things men told them they couldn't and they have done them so well people noticed.

As a brethren girl myself, I was struck by how many women in the room yesterday were from the same background - who had grown up being told they couldn't but who did it anyway. Let's raise a generation of bold women with big dreams and empower them to turn those dreams into reality.

Thirty is a dirty word

I have a secret to share, and it’s not something I’m particularly comfortable telling you… I turned 30 last Saturday (sssh!).

This was a milestone I have been dreading since I turned 20. No matter how many people tell you “you’re still young”, it is one of those defining moments in your life where you can’t help but look back and think about what you have (or haven’t) achieved.

My devastation peaked when a friend who turned 30 a day or two after me posted the following on Facebook: “In the last 10 years I've become a teacher, bought a house, got married and had 2 gorgeous little girls! Wonder what the next 10 years will bring????”


I realised with a horrible, sinking feeling that I haven’t done ANY of these things. I didn’t even own a car until earlier this year, let alone a house. I’m not married and the only pitter patter I can hear is the incessant raindrops on my bedroom window.

To compound my pain, I googled “things to do before you’re 30” to find out what else I should have done and haven’t.

I even resorted (horror of horrors) to reading a Daily Mail list of suggestions on the subject.

Interestingly, the whole list was about things women shouldn’t and mustn’t do once they hit 30.

From chewing gum to wearing above-the-knee skirts and texting, I felt at least 30 times worse after reading these rules. I took small comfort in the fact that I no longer bite my nails (well hardly ever) and don’t have any tattoos (mainly because I’m a wimp) – which were big no-nos on the list. 

After a short pity party (probably something else I’m not allowed to do now I’m 30), I decided to pull myself together and stop dwelling on these shallow, prescriptive rules. If there’s one things I’ve learnt in life it’s that the Daily Mail shouldn’t be your guidebook for life.

Okay, so I haven’t got a house and a family, but I’ve travelled, I’ve laughed, I’ve partied, I’ve cried with friends and I’ve loved, lost and loved again. I’ve worn some horrendous outfits and had a great time regardless. I’ve played chess with my 100-year-old granddad and managed to overlook his cheating ways. I’ve left the rat race to do something I love doing and I’ve met some truly incredible people along the way.

Even more importantly, though, I know that God has a perfect plan for my life; a plan to give me a hope AND a future. He doesn’t see me as a deteriorating 30-year-old with saggy knees (see Daily Mail list), but as a one-off designer piece that He himself knitted together in my mother’s womb.

I have gifts that no-one else on this earth has and am blessed to be able to walk hand-in-hand with Jesus every single day. 


So instead of looking back in horror at the mistakes I’ve made and opportunities I’ve missed, I’m looking ahead to a glorious future, on this earth and then in eternity.

In case you’re wondering, I will also be selecting the online newspapers I read much more carefully.

Could women's magazines be making matters worse for us girls?

I read a really interesting blog this week, and I felt it was extremely relevant in terms of our vision here at Liberti. 

Entitled “Women’sMagazines and the Cult of Hypocrisy”, Laura Bates complains of “a disturbing and growing trend of women’s magazines affecting a superficial stance of concern about issues that they themselves are often guilty of causing or exacerbating”.

I couldn’t agree more. I’ve said on several occasions that I avoid most women’s mags at all costs because they make me feel inadequate and insecure. One minute they’re deriding celebrities for their spots or cellulite and the next they’re showing airbrushed images of how they think we should all look. And woe betide you if you don’t look perfect, because you’ll never get that job you want or the man of your dreams…

Laura gives a great example of this. “Last week, two editions of Now Magazine appeared on newsstands in the UK,” she writes. “The weekly issue featured a dramatic photograph of model Abbey Crouch, emphasising her prominent collarbones and hollow thighs.

“The headline read ‘Oh no! Scary Skinnies’, while a caption warned: ‘Girls starving to be like her’. Inside, a feature revealed that ‘worryingly, pro-anorexia sites are using her figure as a skinny role model’.

“The other magazine was the Now Celebrity Diet Special. Its cover was emblazoned with a photograph of the same model in a glamorous bikini, under the headline: “Bikini body secrets…stars’ diet and fitness tricks REVEALED.”

According to Laura (and I fully agree): “There is an undeniable disparity between the caring, concerned tone magazines adopt, and the actual pictures and features they continue to publish week in, week out.”

The blog points out that 75% of teenage girls feel depressed, guilty and shameful after spending just three minutes leafing through a fashion magazine, and that a coroner recently held the fashion industry and photographs of wafer-thin girls “directly responsible” for the death of 14-year old schoolgirl Fiona Geraghty, who had bulimia.

“It is time for women’s magazines to stop pretending to advocate for solutions and admit they are part of the problem… Women’s magazines must pay attention to their legacy,” she writes.

When Bekah Legg took over Liberti magazine, her vision was to produce a women’s magazine that was interesting and engaging, but one that would build women up rather than tearing them down. It’s about empowering women to become all that God created them to be – regardless of how they look.

Most women I know have things about their appearance they would like to change, but Liberti encourages us to focus on faith, family and freedom for women across the globe rather than spending all our time wishing we looked like Abbey Crouch (or not!).

Liberti discusses issues such as eating disorders, domestic violence, racism, death, relationships, poverty, human trafficking and many others in a frank, informative way. Rather than focusing on me, me, me, it is designed to get us thinking about our God-given purpose within a world that has so many problems and prejudices. 

There’s no airbrushing or attempts to do others down to make our readers feel better about themselves (which clearly doesn’t work, anyway). Like Laura, we want to leave a lasting and positive legacy for our readers and they people they connect with.

If you're fed up with the typical women’s mags on the high street, why not give Liberti a read? It costs just £12 a year to subscribe and will arrive right on your doorstep every three months!