New Year, new you!

It’s coming to that time of year where the turkey has been gobble gobbled and the last of the mince pies has been scoffed. Delicious as they were, we’re all starting to loosen our belts a bit and lose the odd button.

So as New Year approaches, many of us will be detoxing and – horror of horrors – debating a return to the gym. And what’s wrong so with that?

Well, nothing really. Sensible dieting and exercise are good for us all, whether we’re in shape or not. But what happens when losing weight becomes an unhealthy obsession? With many people already suffering from eating disorders in the UK, the pressure to lose weight can prove too heavy a burden for some.

Thinking along these lines, Women and Equalities minister Jo Swinson has written an open letter to magazine editors asking them not to promote post-Christmas ‘miracle’ diets. Pre-empting the avalanche of fad diets that surface at this time of year, she encouraged publications – including women’s magazines – to "celebrate the beauty of diversity in body shape, skin colour, size and age" instead.

Co-founder of the Campaign for Body Confidence, Ms Swinson suggests “fad diets and fitness myths” can promote unhealthy body image and be harmful to dieters’ physical and mental health.

"I am sure that you want to promote a healthy lifestyle for your readers but at this time of year in particular far too much of magazine coverage tends to focus on irresponsible, short-term solutions and encourages readers to jump on fad diet bandwagons,” she writes in the letter.

"As editors you owe more to your readers than the reckless promotion of unhealthy solutions to losing weight.

"If your aim is to give practical, sensible advice about losing weight – and not how to drop a stone in five days – you should encourage reasonable expectations, instead of dangerous ones, along with exercise and healthy eating."

The editorial team at Liberti magazine takes this very seriously. Every issue contains nutritional and fitness advice because this is something our readers have asked for. However, our experts always focus on the positives – which foods you should eat to achieve a more balanced diet, and the types of exercise that would work best for you, for example. If you’re looking for motivation to shift a few pounds, I’d definitely advise you to check it out (and that’s not just because I work for the mag!).

But more than that, Liberti encourages women to enjoy a lifestyle that is positive all round, not just looking at the physical, but fully embracing life and all that it has to offer. Our team of writers discuss ways to develop emotionally and spiritually, as well as looking at tons of ways to reach out to people in our communities and across the globe.

If you’re looking to make some changes this New Year, forget the fad diets and the punishing exercise regimes and get Liberated! January needn’t be a time of bleakness and giving things up; it’s about establishing what our purpose in life is and pursuing this purpose with great gusto.

Wishing you a very happy New Year from all of us at Liberti xxx 

Fantasy versus reality

Working from home certainly has its perks. One of the greatest, in my opinion, is the option to watch cheesy Christmas films as I tap away on my laptop. Needless to say, Christmas 24 has been on every day for the last month or so in the Tibbs household; I just can’t get enough of it.

Having watched most of the films now (some of them twice), I’m beginning to notice a certain pattern. At the start, a child is let down by his or her parents and/or Santa and grows up to be a grumpy, workaholic scrooge. He or she has no time for love or adventure and very often neglects his/her own kids as a result.

But just when you’re starting to give up all hope, some magical intervention occurs, Santa is proven to be real (as if we ever doubted it) and, more often than not, a happy-ever-after love story ensues.

I’m not knocking this formula; it works a treat. In fact, I can almost predict to the minute when I will be reduced to tears, the moments where I will have to watch through my fingers because the cringe factor is so high, and the moment when I will need to clear my throat for the final carol-singing scene.

But in many ways, this repeated narrative reflects real life. Many children are scarred by the actions of a parent or someone in authority who has hurt them or let them down. They carry this pain through their lives and into new relationships, eventually passing it onto their children.

Others embrace the idea of God during childhood, seeing Him as a magical, Santa-like being who gives us all the things we want and meets all of our needs. But by the time we reach double figures we have rejected Him because – like Santa – we feel we have outgrown Him… and that He isn’t all He’s cracked up to be anyway.

As we approach Christmas, I hope we’re all excited about the parties, presents and delicious food. But I also hope it’s a time where we can rebuild relationships that have broken down and spend quality time with the people we love.

My greatest hope, though, is that we can focus on the relationship we have with God. At this time of year we remember that He sent His only Son to earth to live among us, and ultimately to die in order to bring us back into relationship with Him. 

Unlike Santa, who only pops up once a year, God will walk with us every day of our lives if we are just prepared to take the first step. And, unlike Santa, if you ask Him to prove that He’s real, He’ll actually do it. 

He is the very epitome of happily ever after love without the Hollywood cheese factor.

Anyway, it’s almost time for Annie Claus is Coming to Town, so I’ll bid you adieu. Or perhaps Merry Christmas would be more appropriate!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine - out soon!

One thing I’ve learnt from the Leveson Inquiry

Today I watched the live coverage of Lord Justice Leveson as he published his long-awaited report on the press.

In his speech he pointed out that the investigation started with the hacking of Milly Dowler's voicemail and expanded to cover politicians, the press and the police. 

There isn't one guilty party here; large sections of the industry and many outside it have been tarnished by this scandal. And Lord Leveson claimed those who had broken the rules had “wreaked havoc" on the lives of innocent people.

Sometimes in life we cut corners or engage in practices that are the norm at the time; often we just go along with things without thinking about the consequences. I'm not saying I've ever hacked the phone of a missing child, but sometimes just by staying silent we propagate certain behaviours.

Remember the MPs expenses scandal, for example. I imagine it was initially a case of someone buying a spot of lunch for a friend on their expenses rather than forking out for it themselves. Who’s to ever know? Others followed suit. It’s what everyone does, so why shouldn't I? Still others kept quiet about it; not actually doing it themselves but keeping schtum to protect those that did. Before long people were putting up duck houses and building moats around their houses.

A more sinister example is the Jimmy Savile scandal. It is now thought as many as 300 people were sexually abused by the former TV presenter; including victims as young as eight. Obviously, Savile's behaviour is reprehensible, that needs no discussion. But what of those who knew what was going on and facilitated it or even got involved themselves? We’ll probably never know just how sordid the whole situation was.

It might just be a small thing to start off with: an employee ‘borrowing’ stationary and eventually embezzling company funds; harassment of a colleague that results in a nervous breakdown or suicide attempt; or a friend’s casual interest in hardcore pornography that draws them into a situation where domestic violence occurs. 

I can't help thinking it would be better to make a stand before things got out of hand. Think Winterbourne View, Baby P and the Shannon Matthews case; why were these situations allowed to take place? Because no one stepped in and said: “Enough is enough.”

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have a responsibility to do things the right way: to avoid shortcuts and unlawful practices; to stand up against endemic actions and behaviours that we consider to be wrong; and to be prepared to ‘go public’ (by telling the relevant party) as soon as a dangerous pattern appears to be emerging.

Unlike those involved in the phone hacking scandal, we may not be hauled up in front of a panel to explain our actions (or inaction), but I believe that one day we will all have to give an account.

Romans 14:12 says: “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God”, and 1 Corinthians 4:5 says: “Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.”

You might think that what you’re doing isn't hurting anyone, or that it is insignificant. But whether you’re the ringleader or you’re simply turning a blind eye, it’s time to get serious. Let’s get a handle on the scandal before it even becomes one.

PS I'm really glad the News of the World has finally gone.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine. 

Women lose the vote

I’m sat on my sofa, trying to know where to start. Today, after 12 years of consultation, legal wrangling and campaigning, the draft legislation, which would have allowed women to become Bishops, was today rejected. 42 out of 44 of the church’s dioceses have given their backing to women bishops over the last decade and two out of the three houses in the Synod passed the legislation. In the end it came down to six votes in the House of Laity.

It’s a bitter blow for women looking for the Church of England to acknowledge and accredit their God given gifts. I think it’s a bitter blow full stop for the Church of England. Twitter exploded as the result was announced with many claiming that they were ‘ashamed to be part of the Church of England’. The Telegraph describes the decision as ‘plunging the Church of England into its biggest crisis for decades’ with Damian Thompson suggesting that Archbishop of Canterbury elect, Justin Welby faces the prospect of an Anglican Civil War.

It’s not the kind of talk I like to hear about the church. Jesus said that we would be known as his disciples by the love we have for each other. Days like today make me despair – when the church is, instead, known for its infighting, its hypocrisy and its inequality. Today was an opportunity for a part of the church to show that it loved and recognised women the way that Jesus did. But it didn’t.

My prayer is, that in the aftermath of this vote, the church – all of it, really does respond with the love and the grace that should mark us out as Jesus followers. That as those of us who campaigned and prayed for change pick up the pieces to start again, we do so gently if determinedly and that we treat our brothers and sisters as brothers and sisters and not as enemies. The way the next few days, weeks and months are handled will define the church as much, if not more than, today’s vote.

Today a sad decision was made; a decision that seems to restrict women’s liberty. But today’s decision does not define God’s church and it does not define women. Today’s vote does not define me. Or you. It does not stop me from becoming all that I was created to be. It does not stop you. Devastating as it was, today’s vote will, in time, be voted on again and I believe that there will be change. But in the meanwhile, I will carry on leading in the sphere that I am given, I will carry on being a light to the world I live in and I will love those who say I shouldn’t.

I hope that you will too.

(S)he that cannot obey cannot command!

I like this Benjamin Franklin saying, but I must admit that obedience and submission don’t come naturally to me… I like getting my own way far too much. Now I'm studying these concepts at Bible College and it’s challenging stuff.

When I was young and my mum told me not to do things, I often did them anyway and learnt the hard way that she was right all along. I now know that she told me not to do them because she wanted the best for me, not (as I thought then) because she wanted my life to be boring. I'm discovering the same thing about God’s commands.

Growing up in a Christian home, I also knew I should obey those in authority: parents, teachers, church leaders and bosses. I publicly did and said the right things (obedience) a lot of the time as a child/adolescent. 

Submission has been harder for me to learn. Often I outwardly did as I was told, but my heart wasn't in it. I complained about things (sometimes to myself, sometimes to others); I obeyed, but I wasn't fully submitted. This is something I'm still working on.

I am discovering, though, that God’s grace (ability) is what makes us able to obey – we don’t have to do it in our own strength (although we do still have to choose to obey). Jesus laid down His will entirely to do the Father’s will, and this is how we should live. I am also starting to realise that we should be obedient because we love God (John 14:15), and that this obedience should be instant and joyful. 

One area I am particularly challenged in is my driving. When I'm behind the wheel I take on my (earthly) father’s personality. I drive too fast, I get angry; I have even been known to swear. I disregard parking notices and speed limits. In short, I disobey the law and by doing so, I put myself and others at risk.

Initially, I laughed this behaviour off, but I soon came to realise that I wasn't just disobeying the law; I was disobeying God. If we disobey the laws of those in authority – who are in fact ordained by God Himself (Romans 13:1) – we disobey the One who is over all. And until we learn to yield to authority, we will never be good leaders ourselves.

I know that with the Holy Spirit’s help I can put off the old (wo)man with her anger, foul language and so on, and allow Him to renew my mind (Colossians 3:8-10). And the more I meditate on the Word and listen to the Spirit, the easier it becomes to obey and to emulate the personality of my Heavenly Father.

Eventually this should become a natural reaction rather than an adopted or forced behaviour. And Bristol’s roads will be all the safer for it!

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

What’s so special about Justin Bieber’s mum?

Courtesy of Pattie Mallette

A couple of weeks ago I was offered an interview with Justin Bieber's mum. This had two immediate effects on me – the first was that I found myself singing that delightful “Baby” song in my head and have been trying to shift it ever since.

And I’ll be honest about my second reaction, too. Rather than jumping to a conclusion about her, I positively leapt to one: I mean, what on the earth could the mother of this teenage singing sensation have to say that could be of any real interest to me or the magazine?

I did what we all do in situations like this and googled her, expecting to find a couple of pictures of her and Justin prancing down a red carpet or too, but nothing of any real substance. I soon discovered I was wrong.

It turns out Pattie Mallette has penned a bestseller and that she is using her first-hand experience of child abuse, drug addiction and teenage pregnancy to help others. She even has her own Wikipedia page. My views on this rather beautiful young woman were starting to change.

We decided that her story would in fact be of great interest to Liberti readers and her agent swiftly shipped me a copy of her book, Nowhere but Up, which I had about two hours to read before the interview kicked off. I got started right away and was instantly moved by Pattie's story and by the frank, honest way she told it.

This is a woman who has been through a lot. I won’t spoil it for you, but I can pretty much guarantee it will move you; not only because of the subject matter, but because writing it down took guts and must have been painful to do. And because instead of sitting around feeling sorry for herself she is determined to use her terrible experiences to give hope to those who have been through similar things.

Now a committed Christian, Pattie shares how her relationship with God has helped her to come through some extremely tough times and how, rather than pretending they didn't happen, she has confronted them and sought God’s healing and deliverance.

I’ll never just think of her as “Justin Bieber’s mum” again, although having a famous son has given her a good platform to share her story (and the foreword he wrote in the book is lovely). I now feel ashamed that I more or less wrote her off before I even knew anything about her.

She is brave, engaging and inspiring in equal measure and, if you’ll excuse the pun, I will endeavour never to judge a book by its cover again. I really enjoyed speaking to her and I hope you’ll enjoy reading what she had to say in the next issue of Liberti magazine (our January to March edition).

If you can’t wait that long, a whole host of other inspiring women have appeared in and written for the current issue (October to December), which focuses on ‘50 shades of freedom’.  It’s a good ’un if I do say so myself!

Blessed to be a blessing

A couple of months ago I heard about an organisation called Bristol International Student Centre (BISC). They were looking for volunteers to welcome new international students to the city and to take them to their new accommodation.

My pointy little ears pricked up. After spending a good chunk of my gap year in Italy, I knew how it felt to arrive in a new country not knowing anyone. I've also spent most of my life relying on lifts as I didn't own a car until earlier this year.

This was the perfect opportunity to ‘pay it forward’. I turned up for my first collection assignment to find three people eagerly waiting, each boasting several large suitcases. Now me and Ulrika (my trusty Ford KA) were a little unprepared for this.

In the end I took two slightly squished Malaysian lads. Baggage was jammed into every crevice, with large cases resting on laps and all manner of things obstructing my gear stick and handbrake.

Fortunately, I've always had something of a cavalier attitude to driving and we managed to find both sets of accommodation (yes, doubters, my sense of direction is better than you think).

I ended up doing several trips, mainly with students from Asia. I even did a couple of house viewings with two Chinese girls who had turned up without booking any accommodation. BISC had kindly put them up with a family for a week, but they desperately needed to find somewhere proper to live.

I'm pleased to report that everyone survived my kamikaze driving, and it was such as blessing to get to know some of these students, who were getting their first taste of English life. Suffice to say my tour guide skills need a bit of work, but I did know where a large Chinese supermarket was, so that earned me a few brownie points!

I was a little sad dropping the last two students to their digs, but fortunately the adventure wasn't over. Another part of BISC’s work is providing meals for internationals at the beginning of term. The first meal is free, and every subsequent meal is just £2, which doesn't even cover costs.

Despite working full time, the guy who ran the kitchen, Charl, had worked every night for ten nights by the time my meal assignment came round. I was really moved by his and his wife’s (BISC coordinator Jacqueline’s) amazing dedication and enthusiasm, which was also displayed beautifully by Jacqueline’s second-in-command, Ruth. They really did work tirelessly to meet the students’ every need.

A team of volunteers had assembled by the time I’d moved Ulrika from her slightly illegal parking spot. Everyone had a dish to make and mine was veggie pasta. It was hard not to compare my progress to everyone else’s (very slow, apparently) and I suddenly wished hadn't relinquished the household’s cooking duties over to my brother in favour of washing up when I moved in with him and his wife earlier this year.

But the dish finally came together, and I think we served about 50 students in all. The food seemed to go down well and it was lovely to see the students getting to know each other over steaming apple pie and custard.

And my washing up skills weren't wasted! Catering for 50 people creates a fair few dishes, so we cracked on with that.

I was even pleasantly surprised to find that one of my fellow washer uppers was a boy who had been in my year at school. I had the privilege of meeting his wife and catching up on what he’d been up to in the (too many to mention) years since we left.

What BISC is doing reminds me of what Christ did during his earthly ministry. He spent time with people, he fed people and he met their needs. He didn't discriminate or turn people away – and his capacity for love was contagious.

I'm sure there is an organisation like BISC where you live. I would encourage you to find out and get involved! It’ll bless you just as much as it blesses the people you are serving.

Read more from Joy in the new issue of Liberti - out now!

Compassion offers Maasai girls a better future

The Maasai tribe is one of the most recognisable tribes in the world, but many of the cultural practices carried out by the group continue to suppress women and even endanger their lives.

Through a network of local churches in Kenya, child development charity Compassion is challenging many of these damaging traditions and offering young girls from the Maasai tribes an opportunity to fulfil their potential.

One of the practices Compassion Kenya is seeking to change is that of childhood marriage. In Kenya, an estimated 42% of girls are married before their 18th birthday. This has a severely detrimental impact on their education, social and emotional development and their health, with pregnancy being the leading cause of death for girls aged 15 to 18 in the developing world.

Another dangerous custom perpetuated in many tribes is that of female genital mutilation. In Kenya alone, 49% of women are victims of this form of mutilation and the practice is highly prevalent in the Maasai tribe.

Pauline Shonk is a 16-year-old sponsored child who will not face early marriage thanks to her participation in a Compassion project. "I want to shape my future so that I can be of help to myself and others. I want to be a doctor," she explains.

Thanks to the support of her Compassion sponsor, Pauline attends the prestigious Ewaso Najile Girls School, a girls' secondary boarding school that is approximately 70km from Nairobi. Of the 267 students, 21 are Compassion-sponsored girls.

"Other girls [who are not in school] look much older than me," continues Pauline. "They are married and have children at a young age and they face many hardships at home.”

"Illiteracy and lack of exposure has dragged us behind. We have many bright girls who can compete with anyone," says Isaac Teeka, a history teacher at the Ewaso Najile Girls School. "This opportunity to be in school offers them that chance."

By working through local churches who understand local traditions, Compassion can reach out to those who are in greatest need effectively and with sensitivity. It often takes many, many years to see change, which is why the local church is the best vehicle for long-term development.

The landscape of rural Kenya is undoubtedly changing and with a generation of educated and confident young women, it will be better prepared for the future.

Find out how you can support these and other women across the globe by visiting Compassion. And don't forget to mark the United Nation's International Day of the Girl Child on October 11!

Read more about female liberation and empowerment in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine. 

Uniting in prayer to show that we care

In the wake of the tragic deaths of two police officers from Greater Manchester Police (GMP) this week, Redeeming our Communities (ROC) is calling on churches across the UK to unite in prayer for police officers across the UK.

ROC is asking churches to commit to a one-minute silence at 11am on either Sunday, September 23, or on Sunday, September 30. This will represent solidarity with GMP, which held its own minute of silence on Wednesday, September 19, in honour of its fallen colleagues.

ROC has been working with GMP since 1998 and powerful partnerships between the charity and police forces across the UK have been forged as a result. 

Founder Debra Green became increasingly convinced of the importance of supporting the UK’s frontline public services following the sad death of DC Stephen Robin Oake, who was murdered in 2003.

Debra says: “The tragic loss of two young police women, Nicola [Hughes] and Fiona [Bone], in Manchester this week has been heart breaking. Our thoughts are with the families and with Greater Manchester Police.

“Chief Constable Peter Fahy described GMP as a family and spoke of the sadness experienced across the force. I cannot praise GMP highly enough and would ask that we do all that we can to uphold them at this time.

“I have just signed the book of condolence and feel more committed than ever before to continue our work. This loss is a stark reminder of the risks policemen and women take every day for our safety and the greater good of our communities.”

Chief Constable Fahy said: “Greater Manchester Police has been overwhelmed by the huge degree of public support following the sad deaths of two of our officers yesterday.

“Our main priority at the moment is to do everything we can to support the families of Nicola and Fiona, who have an incredible amount to come to terms with. Our thoughts remain with them.

“The whole force is devastated by the deaths of Nicola and Fiona, but to know at this difficult time that the public supports what the police do and feel so strongly about the sacrifice of these two officers, is hugely important to us.”

You can register your church here so that ROC can keep track of the vast support across the UK of those standing in prayer with members of the police service.

Read more about Debra and her team’s valuable work in the next issue of Liberti magazine… coming very soon.

Why women and football really do mix

Yesterday I went to football training for the first time ever. I haven’t kicked a ball since I was about ten; back in the good old days when my brother and his friends stuck me in goal between their crumpled school jumpers and kicked balls at my face.

After letting in two million goals I normally ended up walking away with a nose bleed for my troubles.

Anyway, my initiation into women’s football didn’t start particularly well. I didn’t own a pair of suitable shorts or socks long enough to fit shin pads in… if I’d even owned a pair. I donned my best running leggings, a neutral green top and a pair of battered training from the less lazy, hazy days of my past. I hoped I wouldn’t be turning up to face a militant bunch of uniformed female football fanatics.

A friend of mine was picking me up, so at least we’d be going together, and she had only been to one training session (with a rival team, shhhh!) the week before, so we were both a bit nervous. Unfortunately, the “bear lefts” and “at the next junction turn left, right, a bit to the side and then completely back on yourself” of her sat nav took her almost to Weston Super Mare. Not only was this far from my house, it was a destination no sane person wishes to end up in at 7pm on a Wednesday night.

We made it to the training session half an hour late, which I was secretly pleased about. ‘At least there’s only half an hour left to make a fool of myself,’ I thought cheerfully to myself, before being told the session was actually an hour and a half and that as we’d missed the warm-up we were getting chucked in at the deep end.

My stomach lurched as we were separated into different groups and watched the first two girls go head-to-head while everyone watched. We were the last two up and we sprinted to the centre.

My friend got the ball and my legs (and brain) instantly turned to jelly. She almost walked the ball into the net like an absolute pro as I looked on helplessly. Her team scored and mine looked at me with a generous portion of pity and a large dollop of disappointment.

The rest of the session was intense but good. I’m still a bit scared of the ball, and of some of the other players (the very vocal ones you want to run away from as they come towards you), but it really got my heart racing and gave me a fresh appreciation of professional footballers’ work rates.

I even produced one kick I was quite proud of… even though the whistle immediately went for a free kick as it was indoor five-a-side and no overhead kicks are allowed, apparently.

Anyway, the point is that sometimes it’s beneficial to face your fears and do something you’re not actually that good at. If you always live in your comfort zone, you never feel that sense of achievement that comes from pushing yourself in a new direction, getting some decent exercise, working as part of a team and meeting some pretty cool people in the process. And I didn’t get a ball in the face all evening.

Best of all, there was free pizza and chips in the pub afterwards. Suffice to say I’ll probably be returning next week… for the pub bit at least!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7).

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Sing like you mean it

The Dunamis Gospel Choir came to my church last Sunday night.

As I walked into the building – slightly on the late side – my ears were embraced by the sound of young, tender voices.

That didn’t last long, because the chorus suddenly kicked in and the volume skyrocketed. The stage was filled with young, smiling faces; faces that were singing their hearts out.

Song after song graced the place, with completely different vocal arrangements for each. There were solos and a cappella harmonies galore. These kids could sing and they weren’t afraid to show it. There were African drum beats, scintillating saxophone notes and delicate flute twiddles (sorry, I don’t know the technical term).

Then all of a sudden, the choir members filed off the stage and sat down! I was gutted…

But it wasn’t over – they were just clearing the stage for a dance performance. Now I already knew these kids could sing, but I had no idea they were about to wow us with their moves too. Suffice to say they pulled it off.

Another musical selection followed, with a powerful sketch and some great poems thrown in for good measure.

But it was the final section that really blew my mind. Several of the songs literally gave me shivers up my spine; not only were they talented, these kids’ voices (and instruments) were powerfully anointed.

I should add that throughout the performance, members of the choir took it in turns to share a bit about their past and the difference the choir, its founder Daniel (‘Pastor D’) and getting to know Jesus had made in their lives.

Among them were ex-gang members, kids who had been badly treated by parents, and young people who had had substance abuse problems – some of them were as young as 12.

At the beginning I assumed they were all from Christian homes, or had at least become Christians before they joined the choir. But as the evening wore on (or glided by, more accurately), it became clear that this was an ongoing work.

These kids didn’t give polished ‘testimonies’; their stories were raw and from the heart. They were genuine, and they made me cry. In fact, they made most of the audience cry… and they even made each other cry. It was beautiful to see how much they rejoiced in each other’s victories and turnarounds.

Pastor D had clearly selected a group of kids who had basic musical talent and who needed to be part of something that was bigger than their own lives; to give them something to work towards and develop into; a family where older guys lovingly embraced younger guys and girls stood hand in hand rather than backbiting and tearing each other down.

The genius of his vision is that by including them regardless of their beliefs, this choir is transforming people’s hearts from the inside out. Indeed two of the choir members had come to Christ in the two or three days leading up to the event and another that very night. (I actually heard since writing this from Pastor D that this figure is closer to seven!)

I’ve never, and I mean never, seen kids who were happier and more fulfilled than these rough-around-the-edges teens from East London.

I’m not going to say every note was perfect, that each changeover was absolutely seamless or that the words spoken were breathtakingly eloquent. I will say, though, that I was moved beyond all expectation by the work that was being done in their lives, and by the way it was spilling over into the lives of others.

As they spoke out what God had done in their lives, they reaffirmed to themselves what they believed. They encouraged their friends and fellow choir members. And they blessed everyone in the building’s socks off. I just wish all Christians were as beautifully honest and open to the Holy Spirit as they were.

Mark my words, these kids will be at the helm of a new generation of great preachers, singers and performers. The legacy Pastor D is creating will be far-reaching and impossible to quench.

Acts 1:8: “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Boozy brides and slurpy singles

New research indicates that while marriage curbs men's drinking, it often results in women drinking more. A study from the Universityof Cincinnati showed that, on average, women drink more after heading down the aisle.

Conversely, while married women knock back the booze in an attempt to keep up with their men, husbands tend to drink less after tying the knot, calmed by their wives’ more moderate attitudes towards booze.

But although women's alcohol intake increases after marriage, husbands still drink proportionately more and reported higher levels of drink-related problems. And when relationships come to an end, men are more likely to hit the bottle, while long-term divorced or recently widowed women resume their restrained ways.

If you drink alcohol, do you drink more when you’re single or coupled up? Have you ever tried to ‘keep up’ with your partner or male friends? Do you tend to drink more when you’re happy and settled, or when you’re feeling a bit down in the dumps?

From past experience I would say that the amount I drink stays about the same. However, my drinking habits certainly change. When in a steady relationship I have tended to drink more frequently, but in smaller quantities, while single life has seen me drink less frequently but consume greater quantities in each sitting (or ‘dancing’, to be more accurate).

Although I’m ashamed to admit it, I’ve definitely experienced the pressure to play catch-up with male drinking partners; not consciously, but in an ‘I don’t want to be left behind’ kind of way. I’ve also had times when I’ve drunk far more than was good for me, which has had a number of knock-on effects (none of them desirable).

I think if you do drink, the key is to do so in moderation – a mojito or two with the girls; a beer when the football’s on (if you like that kind of thing); a film and a glass of red with your beloved. It shouldn't ever be about competing or keeping up!

The government recommends that women do not regularly exceed more than two or three units of alcohol (a 175ml glass of wine) in a day.

And British Medical Association (BMA) Ethics Committee chairman Michael Wilks points out that: "Saving up your weekly units so you can drink them all on a Friday night is not the way to interpret the government's advice." He adds: “If you're building up tolerance, that is a warning sign.”

It’s fairly well documented that alcohol can make you more susceptible to serious disease and mental health problems. It can affect your fertility and stop you from sleeping properly. It can also affect relationships, so if you are drinking more to keep up with your man, beware! It could all end in tears.

Last but not least, alcohol consumption affects your appearance. There are around 125 calories in a 175ml glass of wine and more than 500 in a bottle. A vodka and coke/gin and tonic is 120 calories, and you don't even want to think about the calorie count in cocktails. Drinking also affects the quality of your skin, makes you look bloated and can even cause you to smell funny!

So if you think you’re drinking too much or that someone you know is knocking back a little too much of the amber nectar, visit drinkaware.co.uk. It offers useful tips on how to cut back, and offers a handy diary so you can keep track of exactly what you are drinking.

Ephesians 5:18-20 says: “Don't drink too much wine. That cheapens your life. Drink the Spirit of God, huge draughts of him.

“Sing hymns instead of drinking songs! Sing songs from your heart to Christ. Sing praises over everything, any excuse for a song to God the Father in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ” (The Message version).

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

Matrimony or mate-ri-money… the choice is yours

Most of us are aware there are certain savings to be made if you’re married. While money may not buy you love, there is evidence to suggest a bit of romance could help to protect your pocket.

So should all singles be launching themselves into relationships in a bid to save a few pennies? Well perhaps not…

There are three important words to add to your vocabulary if you’re (young) free and single: MOSHing, mate-ri-money and FLAPers. MOSH stands for multiple occupant shared home and it happens when first-time buyers get together with other single friends to collectively buy a property.

Research from Future Poll indicates that 59% of singles who don't own a property say that doing so would greatly improve their quality of life and 30% have several friends they would consider buying a property with. According to the Government Office for Science, single-person households are projected to increase by 163,000 per year from 6.8 million in 2006 to 10.9 million in 2031.

The report also identified a new demographic in the UK described as FLAPers (financially liberated and positively single). Gone are the days of feeling left on the shelf; instead, people in the UK are looking for ways to live independently without ending up out of pocket. Those who see marriage as old-fashioned and unnecessary, for example, really seem to be embracing this new ‘financial friendship’ concept.

Future Poll found that 80% of singles believe friendships last longer than romantic relationships and more than one in four single people would go to their friends first if they needed money urgently.

But what if you’re already married? Well, there’s no need to call in a divorce lawyer! Being in a committed relationship can definitely save you money.

In general, couples are seen to be safer prospects for insurers – particularly car insurance companies – than their single counterparts. According to the Towers Watson Car Insurance Price Index.

Although this is set to change when new gender equality legislation takes effect in December, the average annual comprehensive car insurance policy currently costs £954 for a male driver, typically falling by £502 when a spouse is added. Deep down we all knew women were better drivers!

If that doesn’t send you rushing down the aisle, a new study from NS&I might just tip the balance. Its latest Savings Survey suggests Brits who are in a relationship save around £800 more each year than singletons. A fifth save at least £200 more per month; more than £2,400 over the course of a year. 

Relationships have the biggest effect on men's finances, with men saving an average of £85 more each month under their partner's influence compared with a £50 increase for women. Young men (aged 25-34) are most influenced by their partners, saving around £100 more. As many as 15% of women in relationships admit to being motivated to save more due to their partner's bad financial habits compared with 11% of men. 

John Prout, NS&I director, comments: "It is good to see that people in relationships are motivating one another to save significant sums of money. As well as helping each other save towards goals and providing more security in difficult times, these savings will make a difference for the bigger financial milestones that come during a relationship, like buying a home, or saving for life in retirement." 

Overall, the research seems to suggest that two heads (or wallets) are better than one; whether you decide to put a ring on it or not.

Read more from Joy in the next issue of Liberti magazine.

What legacy are you leaving?

In his first major speech as Prime Minister, David Cameron set out his Olympic legacy aspiration:

"Make sure the Olympics legacy lifts East London from being one of the poorest parts of the country to one that shares fully in the capital's growth and prosperity."

The word “legacy” was bandied about throughout the Olympic period and, on August 12, Sebastian Coe was appointed Olympics legacy ambassador.

Cameron told the BBC there was a "huge opportunity" to build the legacy for the Games. He said that Lord Coe had "done a brilliant job delivering the best Games ever" and added: "Now I want him to help me deliver the best Olympic legacy ever."

This got me thinking about the meaning of “legacy”. It often relates to money, and there's an element of this here, but surely there has to be more to it. Well according to dictionary.com, it means: “a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will; a bequest; anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor”. Think Steve Redgrave handing over the torch for the seven young athletes to light the cauldron at the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Having just finished a full week helping out at a holiday Bible club, I’ve had this word at the back of my mind for a while. People are always complaining about kids today, but in many ways they are simply the product of the legacy we have created for them. 

If we are passing on negative thoughts, anger, bitterness and foul language, how exactly do we expect them to behave? It’s our job to leave them a legacy during our lifetimes that will last well after we are gone. And I’m not just talking about school sports fields (although I do think they’re important!)

The kids at the club were enthusiastic, intelligent and inspirational. It was an absolute privilege being able to spend time with them and to encourage them to follow their dreams.

But with the week over and these kids preparing to go back to school, I hope they’ve taken away principles that will set them up for the rest of their lives: how to overcome real hurdles, finish the race and pass on the baton. I hope they have new ideas about what life is all about and about fixing their eyes on Jesus; about working as part of a team rather than just looking out for themselves; and about how much God loves them.

I don’t know about the kids, but I’ve certainly come away with a new outlook on life and am determined to a) appreciate the legacy that has been left for me by others and b) to leave a legacy that will bless others in the years to come.

In 30 years’ time, the Olympics will be a fond but distant memory, but I hope these amazing kids will remember some of things they’ve learnt and will go on to develop their own ideas about who Jesus is and why they should follow him.

After all, Jesus was all about legacy. Okay, so in human terms he didn't leave a wife or child, a house, clothes, business or money. But what he did leave was far more important. Jesus left us his powerful word and teachings; he revealed who God is; he gave his life to allow us to be reconciled to the Father; he rose again to defeat death so that we could have eternal life; and he left us the Holy Spirit to guide, comfort and protect us. 

Romans 8:17 says: "And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering."

If all the seven- to eleven-year-olds in the UK are as amazing as the children we got to spend the week with, I think our nation can expect great things in the next few decades: things that are even greater than 65 hard-won medals. I’m excited about the legacy we're leaving!

Read more from Joy in the upcoming issue of Liberti magazine.